The Three Friends Trilogy Book Two
by Clarissa Larissa Malin
Summary: KiwisDon'tDrink&Drive cowrote this tale of when Bret and Elijah come to Washington, Paige, Ashley, and Kate's lives are flipped upside-down, again! Craig ain't gone, either. Expect the unexpected!
1. Time for Changes

The concert was held at Murphy's Irish Pub in D.C. that night that Elijah and Bret  
  
arrived. Paige, Ashley, and Kate arrived to watch the Flight of the Conchords perform  
  
their comedy act as well as few other random souls who were just there to drown the  
  
sorrows in alcohol. Half of these guys probably don't even know what the bloody hell a  
  
Conchord is, thought Kate as she watched one of the men at the table across from them  
  
pass out with a loud "thunk"; his empty bottle of Lumpy Dog Light Lager crashing to the  
  
floor.  
  
"Okaaaay...." said Ashley, thoroughly wierded-out by the night so far. She had  
  
repeatedly glanced over at Paige and Elijah, happily chatting with Kate about the  
  
Return of the King, and felt a small jolt of jealousy well up inside her. She had been  
  
mentally beating herself up about the Craig thing in New Zealand, and regretted not  
  
taking it as far as she had wanted to, even though Kate had told her she had done the  
  
right thing. In fact, she felt rather rotten for not staying and leading him on like  
  
she did. As Bret finished singing his hit rejected song "Frodo" with the infamous  
  
"Frodo, don't wear the ring... you'll never be the Lord of the Rings..." line, Ashley  
  
lay her head down on the smelly wooden table they all sat at and closed her eyes,  
  
trying to block out the noise. She nearly jumped out of her seat as she felt a hand on  
  
her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Bret's face, giving her a concerned look.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" "Oh, nothing..." Ashley lied, lifting her bottle of Coke and taking a  
  
long swig out of it. "Oh, really?" Bret said, taking a chair from the table across from  
  
them, in which the unconscious drunkard was seated in, allowing him to fall off with a  
  
plop and roll under the table, still unconscious; Bret slid the chair over to their  
  
table next to Ashley. Paige turned away from her conversation with Elijah and Kate and  
  
looked at Bret.  
  
"I can't believe we are sitting in a bar with Figwit." Bret laughed goofily in  
  
response to Paige's comment. "Oh my god, you guys are hilarious... you had a great show  
  
tonight." Paige said. Bret smiled. "Yeah, even though we didn't have much of an audience." "Bret... I hate to break it to you, buddy, but... no one showed up because  
  
your act sucked." Elijah joked, slapping his Kiwi friend on the back. "Thanks a lot, mate," Bret grinned, glancing over at the recently passed- out drunk guy, who was now getting up and looking around the bar, highly discombobulated; he staggered to the  
  
exit. "Yeah, Elijah's right," Kate said, looking at Bret. "You guys did suck... I mean, compared to Linkin Park, everyone sucks." She grinned, watching Bret's expression  
  
change quickly from mirth to complete and utter confusion. "Linkin Park?" he asked. Kate jaw dropped. "You don't know who Linkin Park is???" Bret grinned sheepishly and  
  
shook his head. There was an awkward silence between everyone at the table. It was finally broken when Ashley stood up suddenly from the table. Paige looked over  
  
worriedly at her friend. "Ashley, what's wrong." Ashley shook her head. "Nothing...nothing... I'm not feeling too good, that's all." "Is there anything we can do?" Kate asked. "No... I'll be okay. I think I'm going to go home and lay down." She started to  
  
walk towards the exit of Murphy's. "Do you want me to drive you home?" Bret called. Ashley didn't even turn around when he said this, and just replied with a short and  
  
curt "No". "How are you going to get home, Ashley?" Paige asked, her concern mounting. "I'll hail a cab." And with that she walked out of the bar, leaving a confused group of  
  
friends behind. Paige and Kate were worried about Ashley, as they knew she would be just as worried about them if they weren't feeling well. She hadn't been the same since she came back  
  
from New Zealand several weeks before. She hadn't smiled or laughed or anything... and  
  
that was out of the ordinary for her, they noticed.  
  
The cab was small, dark, and damp. Ashley hated the idea that she had left her friends in the middle of the pub, acting like a sorrowful Harry Potter, and leaving them concerned.  
But at the moment she didn't care.  
She didn't even care that Figwit was incredibly nice to her, and had put his arm on her back.  
She didn't even care that a week ago, Bret was all that she could think about.  
Something had changed.  
The cab clanged along, and very ungracefully turned on Chevy Chase Circle. It headed up Western Avenue, and was soaring towards Connecticut. Ashley tried to tune everything out, but her head was just buzzing and her eyes were riveting in their sockets. She had no idea what was wrong. All she knew was that Craig had made a sudden mental reappearance in the soap opera that was her life.  
He hadn't been killed off at all. "If there's no body," Paige had once told her, "then on a soap opera, that dead character's coming back."  
Ashley didn't remember seeing Craig's body, and as the writer of her show, it was an extreme excuse to let Craig on her show again.  
She was going to bring him back to life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"That was really weird," Kate said, looking at the door, willing Ashley to walk back inside.  
"Yeah," said Bret, looking twice as depressed as Kate. Elijah looked at his friend.  
"Is something wrong with you, man?" He asked.  
"Oh, no." Bret lied. Elijah intensified his glance.   
"Well," Bret started.  
"You like Ashley." Paige finished, shortly. Kate looked over at her. "Everyone eventually likes Ashley."  
"Whoa.. whoa!" said Bret, looking at her. "I never said I liked her!"  
"You've been looking at her all night," said Elijah, smiling.  
"Well.. yeah," Brett gave in.  
"I could have sworn while you were singing 'A Kiss is Not a Contract' you were looking into her eyes like some treasure lie beneath them." Kate ventured.  
"I guess so," Brett said sheepishly. Paige got up with a start.  
"I really have to go." She said, looking around for an exit.  
"Wait a second, don't pull an Ashley on us!" Elijah joked. Paige didn't smile.  
"It's best I think if we don't talk about Ashley," Paige muttered, quietly. And with that, she walked out of the restaurant.  
"Damnit," Elijah muttered. "She was the only person who knew the way to our hotel."  
Elijah turned, gave Bret a quick slap on the back, and ran after Paige.  
"Do you want to leave now, too?" Bret asked, barely masking the desperation he had in his voice. "Everyone seems to be doing that tonight."  
"No." Kate said. She didn't have any emotion in her voice.  
"Your strange." He said.  
"I know." Said Kate. Brett smiled.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige walked down the dark sidewalk out of Murphy's Pub. She looked around for Ashley. And of course she knew that she wouldn't be there. She had left already. She didn't  
  
know what had gotten into her friend, but she was going to find out... It's freaking  
  
cold, Paige thought as she wrapped her coat tighter around herself. She looked around  
  
the dark street, and then suddenly wondered how she was going to get home. She was the  
  
only one who knew the way back to Elijah and Bret's hotel. It was dark and cold and  
  
quiet... and the silence was a bit unnerving to Paige. And then she heard footsteps...  
  
drawing closer and closer to her...  
  
She jumped at seeing Elijah standing behind her, his bright blue eyes glowed with  
  
concern in the dark. "Paige, are you okay?" He put his arm around her, and Paige leaned  
  
into the embrace. "I'm worried about Ashley," she said. Snuggling closer to Elijah.  
"I'm really sorry about her... I'm sure she'll be okay... Really." Paige felt tears  
  
well up in her eyes. She looked up at Elijah.  
"Elijah, you are so kind to me. I don't know what to say...." Elijah smiled and pressed his finger to her lips.  
"Don't say anything..." And with that he bent closer to kiss Paige, slowly and with confidence. The kiss was soft and sweet, but full of promise of the things that were to come in  
  
time. There was a snort of repressed laughter coming from behind them, and Paige turned  
  
around quickly to see Kate and Bret standing there laughing their heads off. Paige  
  
glared. "What's so funny?" she hissed. "Are we interrupting anything?" Kate asked, wiping tears of mirth from her face. Elijah glared at Bret. "What is so important that you have to come out here and interrupt us for?" Bret smiled. "We need to get back to the hotel soon, mate. It's getting late." It was getting late... it was 1:46 in the morning as a matter of fact. They all got into Elijah's silver mini cooper, which he had  
  
rented from the airport and sped off towards the hotel.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley arrived back home several hours later. The cab driver didn't speak much English and had gotten her lost several times. She trudged up the stairs to her apartment and  
  
took the spare keys out of her pocket, fumbling with the lock. She finally stumbled  
  
inside and threw her coat on the floor beside the door. She cursed herself silently. It  
  
was nearly 2 in the morning and she didn't want to wake her parents up. Ashley threw  
  
herself onto the couch, nearly squishing her large fat bubble of a cat, Gray Mitty. She  
  
sighed, looking up at the ceiling. She really wanted to see Craig again. She really  
  
wanted to say she was sorry, but she knew he wouldn't accept that. She pulled herself  
  
up from the couch and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper that had his home phone  
  
number on it. She was going to call him, and she was going to muster up enough courage  
  
to speak with him. Picking up the black cordless phone she trudged over to the couch  
  
again and flopped down upon it. Ashley slowly dialed the numbers and felt her heart  
  
began to race. What if he picked up, would he hang up as soon as he found out that it  
  
was her? She placed the phone to her ear and felt her heart nearly jump out of her  
  
throat as she heard his voice "Hey this is Craig... I'm not home right now... but please feel free to leave a message after the beep..." She sighed with relief and began the speech that she had been preparing in her mind for the last five minutes. "Hi Craig... this is Ashley. Listen, I'm really sorry about what happened... I was  
  
wondering if maybe we could talk about it sometime... whenever you get a chance..." She  
  
hung up left her number and hung up.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige couldn't stop looking at Elijah the whole way to the hotel. She just couldn't. Her eyes would wander along the dark streets, lifeless, and she would lose her patience and just stare at him. His eyes were so full of life, and so full of truth.  
"OY!" Bret yelled.  
"Wha?" Elijah said, snapping back to reality.  
"In America, don't you drive on the right side of the road?" Bret sniggered.  
"Wha.. yes." Elijah said, skidding to the right side.  
"Are you a little... distracted?" Kate started, and couldn't contain laughter.  
"Umm no." Elijah hastily lied. The Cooper pulled up the hotel, and silently Bret and Kate filed out. For a moment, Elijah and Paige were left in the car.  
"About earlier.." Paige started. Elijah pulled Paige's neck, and kissed her.  
"Call me tomorrow." He said as he jumped out of the car.  
"Right," Paige said. "Tomorrow."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The phone rang. Ashley was asleep; surprised that someone would be calling her so late. She looked at her watch. 3.15 am it sang at her.  
This could be Craig.  
She lunged at the phone, and picked it up.  
"HELLO?" She said, breathlessly.  
"Hello." said someone with a drawl.  
"Craig." Ashley identified. A soft laugh was heard on the other end.  
"Ashley." Craig said back.  
"I wanted to say," Ashley started.  
"I love you." Craig spat out.  
"What?" Ashley cried.  
"I-love-you." Craig said.  
"Wait a second, this conversation doesn't seem to add up.." Ashley started.   
"Yes it does," Craig confirmed. "We made out, I screwed up by trying to seduce you, and scared you away. I love you, so now I'm going to try to get you back while you have the chance, no matter if I don't see you until 2007." Ashley lost all feeling in her limbs.  
"But if you'll have me," he continued. "I'll be on the next flight to Washington."  
"I'll have you." Ashley said, without a thought in her mind.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley met with Paige, Kate, Bret, and Elijah the next day at the Red Tomato Cafe. She was in a much better mood, as Paige had observed and nearly skipped into the door." Hey, everybody, sorry I'm late." Ashley said, picking up her slice of pizza and taking a bite, waving it animatedly around as she talked. "I'm really sorry about last night. I feel like a jerk." Paige smiled at her friend. "We were really worried about you... I wanted to give you a call but I figured you would probably be asleep." Kate took a sip of Coke. "Yeah... and cab drivers tend to not speak English... so we were hoping you  
  
didn't get lost." Ashley grinned. "We did get lost... several times actually, but I eventually got home. I also called Craig... to apologize. And he called me back. He'll be on the next flight to D.C." Bret's face drooped noticeably. "Craig?" he asked. Paige was relieved that her friend was going to act normal now... or at least, as normal as Ashley could act; she smiled. Bret was slowly ripping little pieces out of his napkin. Elijah looked over at Bret. "Hey, man... you okay." "Y-yeah... yeah. I'm fine." Bret lied, averting his gaze back to the napkin he was mutilating. "He's going to give me a call as soon as he gets to Dulles. Would you guys mind coming with me to the airport? I can't have my parents take me... they're out of town... in Chicago. I have no one take me, and I want you guys there." "Of course we'll go," said Kate. Bret looked out of the  
  
window of the cafe and saw the drunken guys from the night before stagger down the  
  
street. He smiled.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hello." said Elijah, coming up from behind Paige, totally and completely smiling.  
"Hey," she said.  
"Umm.. What's up with Ashley and Craig?" Elijah asked.  
"Oh.. I thought she was over him, but.." Paige started.  
"What?" Elijah said, astounded.  
"He like wanted to fuck her, and she totally turned him down." Paige said.  
"Whoa.. He's like, 33, right?" Elijah said.  
"Yup." she replied.  
"Man, this is crushing Bret," Elijah said, looking back at the table with pity. Paige's jaw turned to stone. "Is something wrong?" He asked.  
"Well, I just.. Ashley has like all men crawling on fours for her, and she doesn't realize that Bret is such a nice guy and is interested in more than just sex.." Paige said.  
"Did they do it, Ashley and Craig?" Elijah asked.  
"That's personal.." Paige muttered.  
"I think you went past personal with that comment about men on all fours." Elijah smiled.  
"Yeah.. well.." Paige replied curtly.  
"Are you jealous of her?" Elijah asked sympathetically.  
"No." Paige lied.  
"Yes you are!" Elijah said, jumping up and down on all fours.  
"I just.." Paige started. "I'm annoyed with the fact that she gets every guy she wants." Elijah leaned in closer.  
"You have me," he said, in a drawling whisper. He put his hand around her waist, and she turned around to look at him.  
"Wait.. I'm only 15.." she started.  
"I'm interested in more than sex.." he said, and leaned in. He kissed her, and for the first time, they were in semi-privacy, in the little niche in-between the men and women's bathrooms. He opened his mouth, and slowly pushed Paige up against the wall. Paige gave in, having wanted Elijah as a crazy obsessed fan for forever.  
"You are incredibly beautiful," he said.  
"Keep going," Paige crooned. Elijah pulled her in closer, and pulled her leg to his waist.  
"You are so smart," he said.  
"Keep going," Paige crooned.  
"You are so sexy, I want to fuck you," Elijah said.  
Paige didn't say anything. Elijah quickly responded, "I mean, I'm not planning to have sex with you until you are ready, and if that is when you are 18, I am willing to wait, I'm just saying, you're dead attractive, and I think you're amazing, and I want to get to know you even better, because we've only known each other a few weeks and-"  
"Bret-is-standing-right-behind-you." Paige hissed. Elijah wheeled around.  
"So." Bret said. "So." Elijah blinked.  
"Are you drunk?" he asked.  
"Yes," Bret replied. "My friend Bob over there gave me some booze." He seemed to swagger with every step.  
Paige leaned towards the table, and saw Bob was furiously hitting on Ashley.  
"SEE!" She yelled. Elijah looked.  
"Aii, I guess it's true.. every guy does eventually hit on Ashley." Bret's eyes glazed over.  
"Don't you talk to me about that woman!" he yelled.  
"Damn her." Paige muttered under her breath.  
"Bret, look, get your drunken friend out of here, Paige and I are going to go.." he looked at her with a grin. "Take a walk."  
"Whaaa?" said Bret, who slumped to the ground.  
Elijah shrugged, and with a steaming Paige, they walked away.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kate wanted to punch this weirdo. He seemed to be the guy from the bar the previous night, and was entertaining this idea when Bret came back from the bathroom.  
"HEY!" He said, a little too enthusiastically.  
"Hi?" Kate said quizzically. Bret shot an evil glance at Ashley, because she was too busy trying to disengage herself from the drunken guy.  
"You know, I like you!" said Bret.  
"I thought you liked Ashley," Kate said with a little disdain.  
"I don't mean like that. I mean like.." he started. "Like with admiration."  
"Oh." said Kate, confused.  
"Say, what's she doing with this 'Craig' guy?" Bret said, voice trilling.  
"I dunno, fucking him probably." Kate said, taking a sip from her straw. "Ashley told him she didn't want to, but I guess they are back together, so she'll probably end up getting raped by him. Everyone seems to be getting raped these days," she said, matter-of-factly.  
Bret snarled. He was going to get Craig at the airport. He was going to get him in a drunken stupor.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley finally managed to convince "Bob" that she was a "lesbian"... though that did not seem to deter him. She looked over at Kate pleadingly. Kate sighed and stood up,  
  
walking over to the table Ashley sat at and backhanded Bob in the face. Bob stood up,  
  
staggered backwards, and fell onto the pool table. "Bastard..." Kate muttered glancing over at the table where Bob was in his current state of passed-outed-ness. "BOB?!?!" Bret cried drunkenly, standing up to go help his "friend" only to have a wave of nausea wash over him, and ran into the men's bathroom to do his business. "Thanks Kate... that guy was really freaking me out." "No problem," said Kate, beaming with pride, as that had been the first person she had beat up in years. "Hey, where are Elijah and Paige?" Ashley asked. "Bret said they were going on a 'walk'." Kate replied. "Oh..." said Ashley, a little disappointed. "Where is Bret anyways?" Kate shrugged. "He's drunk I reckon." "DRUNK?" Ashley exclaimed. "We can't take him to the airport like that..."  
  
Kate shrugged again. There was an annoying ring of a cell phone in her pocket. Ashley  
  
managed to pull it out of her jeans and answered it. Kate looked with confusion as  
  
Ashley said something and then hung up. "Craig's at the airport... we need to find  
  
Paige and Elijah and get there..." Kate nodded. At that point Bret staggered out the  
  
bathroom, looking around.  
"Is Bob okay?" he asked, walking over to the pool table.  
  
"Yes, Bret... Bob will be fine..." Kate said, pulling Bret by the  
sleeve out the door.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I told you this place was beautiful," Paige said, having led Elijah to an used lot several blocks away from the restaurant in a wooded area behind Bethesda Elementary School.  
"You're more beautiful then any place in the whole world," said Elijah, staring into her eyes. Paige burst out laughing. "What?" said Elijah, losing his mojo.  
"It's just," Paige said, wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes. "That's such a corny line." Elijah sighed.  
"I know." He said, incredibly deflated. Paige looked up at him.  
"I've wanted you since I saw you in the first LotR movie." Paige said. Elijah laughed. "And somehow I want more than anything in the world to swim in your eyes- they look so inviting, so true- like an ocean of truth and.. pain," she said softly.  
"Not pain," said Elijah. "Desire." He finally was alone, and pulled her down into the dewy grass, and kissed her with all the desire he could muster.  
And with that, Paige went swimming in his eyes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley was getting worried. She couldn't find Paige or Elijah, and she had the idea that some booty slapping might have been going on. She laughed out loud for the first time in days, at the thought of 'booty slapping'.  
"Something.. funny?" Bret sneered.  
"Yes, I thought something nasty in my head." Ashley said.  
"Something... about Craig?" he asked, in the same manner as the former question.  
"Umm.. no..." Ashley said, staring at him with strange question.  
"Ashley," Kate hissed from behind her. "Can I have a moment?"  
"BRET! Go looking down that street," she said, indicating the street with Bethesda Elementary School. He trudged off.  
"Ashley, Bret is like in love with you, take it easy on him." Kate said.  
"No he's not," said Ashley, naive.  
"YES HE IS!" Kate yelled. "And since when have you been back together with Craig?"  
"Since last night.. I called him and now.."  
"Now.. he's going to break your heart. Or do something stupid again," Kate said, gruffly.  
"What's gotten into you, Kate?" said Ashley.  
"Nothing," Kate lied. "I just don't want to see you or Bret hurt."  
"You like him." Ashley said, with the look of comprehension on her face.  
"WHAT? NO!!!" Kate yelled.  
"Me thinks thou dost protest too much," Ashley said, smiling.  
"I like Mike. He's getting divorced. You are going to be my bridesmaid, remember?" Kate said angrily.  
"I wouldn't be soo sure.." Ashley said, "Bret seemed pretty into you, too."  
"No he didn't," Kate protested. She let Ashley walk ahead after Bret, to conceal the fact that underneath her dark façade, she was smiling.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Paige had bits of grass in her hair, but for the moment, it didn't matter. It didn't matter that Elijah was pressing too hard on her; it didn't matter that other people could be around. She was with Elijah, and it was going far.  
He was fiddling with her bra strap, she tasted his mouth. They were kissing and there was nothing in the world that would stop them. They were together for the first time, and it was magical.  
"ARGH!" Paige heard someone cry. Elijah rose with a start.  
"What the fuck was that?" he said, his hair standing straight up in the air. Paige couldn't repress a giggle.  
"You have make out hair," she said, and pulled him close. They continued to make out, and Elijah finally got her bra clasp undone. They stole a look at each other.  
"I'm ready when you are," Elijah said, all intensity confined to his eyes.  
"I'm ready," Paige said breathlessly.  
"I'm about to be sick," Bret said, standing over them.  
"GET AWAY!" Paige screamed, pulling Elijah down on top of her to conceal the fact that her bra was lying feet away. Bret had noticed, and picked it up.  
"Must I be punished to finding you two all day, every day?" He asked. With misery, he slinked away.  
Elijah laughed, and the two of them sadly stood up. Paige hugged her arms around herself, secretly damning Bret for taking her bra.  
  
Bret came staggering out of the bushes, startling Kate who looked ready to karate chop  
  
anyone who was coming towards her.  
"HOLY SHIT!!" she cried, looking at what female undergarment Bret grasped in his hand. Bret looked down at the bra that he held.  
"OH MYGOD?!!? Where did THAT come from?!" he cried, turning a shade of green and barfing in the bushes.  
"I take it you found Paige and Elijah?" Kate asked, trying to get the images that were swimming around in her head. Bret nodded.  
"Did you tell them that we had to LEAVE?" she asked, looking around the playground they stood in.  
"Uh... no. Sorry, I must have forgotten that minor detail when my life FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES!" he hissed. Ashley jogged up to Bret and Kate, looking around for Paige and Elijah.  
  
"Where are they?" she asked breathlessly. Bret glared at her. Ashley raised her eyebrows  
  
quizzically at Bret. "They were getting it on behind the school." Kate stated casually.  
  
Ashley's eyes widened. She pulled out her parent's cell phone and dialed Paige's cell  
  
number. "Hello?" came a breathless answer. "Paige?" Ashley started. "Craig's at the airport... we need to leave to go and pick him up... and Elijah is the only one with the car." "Right... right..." Paige said, followed by a small giggle. "Paige... please come to the front of the school... with all clothes intact and Elijah's pants zipped up. We'll be waiting." There was no answer for a few seconds. "Paige?" Ashley asked. Kate sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes... yes... we'll be out in a sec..." Ashley hung up. "They're on their way."  
  
  
They all filed into the car. Paige and Elijah decided that they would sit in the front and Kate, Ashley, and Bret would share the seat in the back. Bret seemed to be staring at Ashley with intense glares, and Paige and Elijah were holding hands.  
"Don't you think that's a bit dangerous, driving with one hand," Ashley said, fearing that if they got into a car accident, they might miss Craig at the airport  
"No." said Elijah, staring into Paige's eyes.   
"WATCH THE ROAD!" Ashley and Kate screamed as a large truck whizzed by. Elijah was snapped back to attention.  
"You are the worst driver in the world," Kate said.  
"Thanks," Elijah said with a grin.  
"Jesus," said Bret. All heads (including Elijah's) turned at him.  
"What is wrong with you today?" Paige said.  
"I keep on walking in on the two of you bloody fucking." he said.  
"What?" Paige exclaimed. Ashley and Kate sniggered.  
"You two keep on fucking in all these public places!" Bret yelled. Elijah turned around.  
"WATCH THE ROAD!" Everyone, except Bret and Elijah, yelled.  
"Look, mate, I'll drive." said Bret, lopsided.  
"No." Everyone said in unison. Bret opened his mouth to protest, but then Ashley said-  
"Look, I'll have my license in a few months, and Paige knows the way to the airport, so we'll drive." she said. Elijah and Paige were too busy looking into each other's eyes to care. Kate groaned, and Ashley switched places with Elijah, and Paige switched places with Bret.  
Kate was left in the back, watching Paige and Elijah make out.  
"LOOK!" Kate exclaimed after thirty minutes of watching them. ("WATCH OUT FOR THAT CAR!" was most frequently what Kate yelled at Ashley during this time period). "WE KNOW YOU TWO WANT TO FUCK, AND HAVE FUCKED, BUT PLEASE GET A ROOM!" Paige wistfully tore herself from Elijah.  
"We haven't fucked," she said sweetly.  
"Sorry, 'made love'," said Kate sourly, making quotation marks with her hands.  
"We haven't done that either, although," Paige said, looking at Elijah.  
"ALRIGHT!" said Kate, interrupting that thought. "Just, please stop making out." Paige sighed, and the two of them were content in holding hands.  
They lasted for about twenty minutes of this before they started kissing again, and just as soon as this happened,  
"STOP MAKING OUT!" was heard, being exclaimed by Kate.  
"Uh-oh." Bret said from the front seat.  
"WHAT?!" Kate screamed.  
"The police sirens are on," said Ashley softly. "I think they are pulling us over." Ashley checked her watch as she slowed the car to a stop along the side of the highway.  
  
A police officer slowly walked up to the window. He slowly looked around the inside of  
  
the car. He stared at Ashley. "You gotta driver's license, little lady?" he said looking over at Elijah. "Uh.. yeah... it's my learner's permit... Bret and Elijah have been driving for a while." The officer's eyes widened. "You're Elijah Wood?!" he asked, his voice cracking. "Uh... yeah..." Elijah said, looking over at Bret, who was looking out the window of the car, pressing his nose against the glass. "Wow!" the officer grinned, taking out a pad of paper and a pen. Great, thought Ashley, I haven't even gotten my license and I'm already getting a ticket. To everyone's surprise, the officer  
  
walked over to the passenger's window in the back and motioned for Elijah to roll down  
  
his window. Kate looked at Ashley and they both shrugged, wondering what the officer  
  
was up to. He handed the pad of paper and pen to Elijah. "Mr. Wood... uh sir... my  
  
daughter's a big fan of yours and her birthday in tomorrow... I was wonderin' if you  
  
could give me your autograph to give to her..." Elijah looked confused. "Uh... sure officer." He awkwardly to the pen and signed the sheet of paper, handing it back to the officer. The officer grinned and excitedly jumped up and down towards Ashley's window. He cleared his throat and looked back down at Ashley solemnly. "I'm gonna let this  
  
slide... but if I catch you speeding again... I'm gonna have to charge you extra...." "Thanks...er... officer." Ashley said, looking out the windshield towards the airport.  
  
Rolling up the window, Ashley sped madly towards the airport, leaving a very happy  
  
officer with Elijah's autograph behind.  
  
They all walked out of the car, having parked in "hour long stay". Ashley had written the number of her spot on a piece of paper. Bret sidled up to Ashley.  
"Hey, here's a thought," he said, "how is Craig gonna fit in that tiny car with us?"  
"Uhh.. well.." Ashley hesitated. "We can rent our own car." Bret turned red.  
"Hey!" Kate called after Ashley. "Please don't leave me with the stupid love-birds!"  
"Argh!" Ashley exclaimed. Bret sauntered away.  
"Goodness, he's depressed." Kate said.  
"Yeah," Ashley replied. Several steps behind, Elijah and Paige were walking very slowly.  
"This is so weird," she said.  
"What?" asked Elijah.  
"Craig and Ashley... I mean, last I heard, both he and her were pissed."  
"Maybe he's going to use her?" Elijah pondered.  
"Perhaps," said Paige, going red about the ears.  
"Look, I wanted to wait to tell you this, but..." Elijah stopped. "I think that I might have to go home in a few days."  
Paige turned white.  
"I am soo going to call you when I get to LA, and I really want you to come and visit me, you're not in school right now, right?" he said.  
"No, I'm not in school, but I can't come to LA," Paige said, about to weep. Elijah put his coat around Paige. She smelled it- it was a comforting leather smell.  
"I really like you," he said.  
"I really like you," Paige said, looking up into his eyes.  
"I really have to barf," said Bret, looking for a trashcan. Paige gave him the most evil glare.  
"I think he wants to hang around us," said Elijah. "Makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside." Paige laughed.  
Ashley waited at the edge of the international terminal. All people from overseas had to go through customs, and then came through this silver walkway, where family members waited. It was like in a movie, when people emerged from flights- often waiters broke into applause.  
It was there that Ashley saw Craig, sitting on his bags. She had missed his "walk".  
She ran over to him, and smiled.   
"Hey," she said.  
"Hey," he drawled.  
He pulled her into the most amazing kiss Ashley had ever had. From behind her, she heard Bret growl. Craig disentangled himself.  
"Hey Bret! Hey Elijah! Didn't know you two would be here!" Craig called. Elijah waved, with a teary-eyed Paige at his side. Bret looked absolutely wretched.  
"Don't you say hello to me." he snarled.  
He ran forward, pushing Ashley out of the way.  
The drunken fight was about to begin.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Hey, mate, what's wrong?" Craig looked confused. Bret growled as a response. Ashley looked between both of them. She placed her hand on Bret's chest, slowly pushing the fuming man back away from Craig. Bret's fists were balled up and turning white.... he looked ready to kill anyone who stood in his way. He lunged at Craig suddenly, but was tugged and held back by Kate who swore that she would slap him so hard he wouldn't remember his name. Craig looked worriedly around at the group. "Maybe we should leave, eh?" Ashley nodded. "Craig and I are going to rent a car at the front desk... since we don't have enough room in Elijah's. We'll probably head back to my place. We'll meet up tomorrow or something." she addressed everyone. Elijah and Paige nodded, while Kate was struggling to hold back Bret, who was furiously clawing at the air like a madman. "I'll  
  
see you guys later." Ashley said and began to walk away with Craig towards the rental  
  
car desk. "Bye..." Paige said looking up at Elijah who smiled at her comfortingly. Once  
  
Craig and Ashley were out of sight, Kate let Bret go. Bret stumbled out of her grasp,  
  
still fuming. Kate rolled her eyes and flicked him on the nose several times. "Idiot..." she muttered under her breath.  
  
Craig looked at Ashley in the car. He seemed to have all hope in his mannerism. He put his luggage in the trunk, and leaned in for a kiss.  
"What was wrong with Bret?" Craig asked, after kissing her for a long time.  
"I think he might like me, is that strange?" Ashley said, nervously laughing. Craig pulled Ashley's chin up to his.  
"No. I can't see why anyone wouldn't like you." He smiled.  
"You used a double negative," said Ashley. Craig laughed.  
"I am so glad to see you." He said.  
"I am so glad to see you."  
They got into the car, and drove away.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"BRET!" Elijah yelled at the top of his lungs. "THIS IS IT!" Elijah was staring straight into his eyes, with airport passerby's looking very quizzically at him.  
"Elijah," Paige said softly. "This can wait."  
"NO! It can't. Look, Ashley doesn't like you that way, and never will." Elijah said. Bret looked evilly at him.  
"What about Paige," Bret said manically. "Have you told her what matters?"  
"What is it, Elijah?" Paige said, looking at him.  
"Nothing, nothing.." he mumbled.  
"Tell her, mate." Bret said, putting an emphasis on the 'mate'.  
"Not right now."  
"TELL HER!"  
"Look, if this is about LA, I'm really okay with everything.." Paige started.  
"So you really haven't told her," Bret said. Kate looked on with apprehension.  
"Let's wait until Elijah tells Paige whatever the hell he wants to, okay?" Kate said.  
"I think I will tell her," Bret said. Paige looked innocently scared.  
"WAIT!" Elijah yelled.  
"Your friend, Elijah here... he told me last night that he was only kissing you because you were there." Paige blinked. Her face turned ashen white.  
She walked slowly over to Elijah, and slapped him, hard, across the face. Her fingers left a red handprint. "Bastard," she whispered, and ran away- her coat flapping in her wake.  
Kate walked over to Elijah and kicked him hard in his private area.  
"That's where it counts," she said, and ran after Paige.  
"Sorry mate, that's what I had to do," said Bret, smiling.  
And then there were the two of them, standing all alone, in the middle of the busiest airport in the world. Both of them lonelier than they had been before.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tears were streaming down Paige's face as she ran towards the women's restroom.  
  
Thousands of thoughts were zooming around in her mind. She thought Elijah had really  
  
liked her, maybe even loved her. He didn't kiss her only because she was there, did he? Kate finally caught up with Paige, placing her hand on her shoulder and spinning her  
  
around. She hugged her friend tightly. Paige sobbed into her shoulder. "I'm so sorry Paige. Elijah is such a bastard...." Paige shook her head. "No..." her voice said softly, it was choked with tears. "It was my fault for not seeing it all along." "Why would it be your fault?" Paige didn't answer, only sobbed harder. "Bret's a bastard, too." Kate said. "No, he was just telling me so I wouldn't get hurt later..." she replied. "Bret was only saying that because he was jealous. He's bitter about everything right  
  
now, you know? He just shot his mouth off like that, he's never done it before... He  
  
was angry." Kate said pointedly. Paige looked up at Kate; her eyes were red with tears. "Really?" Kate nodded. "I really think so... do you want to go back to them now?" Paige shook her head. "No... I have to think about this..." "We can go back to my place." Kate offered. "That would be great, thanks." Paige said, sniffing. "No problem Paige, we're friends. I know you'd do the same for me." Kate replied,  
  
smiling. Paige nodded and they walked towards the exit of the airport.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elijah sighed and put his head in his hands, sitting heavily down on a chair. "Why did  
  
you say that Bret?" Bret looked around and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry Elijah.. I was angry... and besides that's what you told me last night." "Did you ever even THINK that my feelings changed? Did you ever even THINK that I might love her?" Elijah asked angrily. Bret's eyes widened. "You do? Oh god, I'm so sorry. I was angry..." Elijah looked up at him with teary eyes. "Why?" "It's just that... you had Paige and I really like Ashley... but she has Craig... and Kate must think I'm an insane bastard." Bret said, looking at the floor. Elijah pat Bret's back. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't feel like I could..." Bret replied, his eyes still glued to the bright red carpeting of the airport floor. "It's all my fault... I'm so sorry, mate." Elijah sighed. "It's okay, buddy. Paige'll never forgive me..." "I think she will. She seems like an understanding person." Bret offered. "Yeah, you're right... I'm gonna call her..." Elijah said, pulling his cell phone out  
  
of his pocket. "Wait..." said Bret. "What?" asked Elijah, pausing after dialing the area code of Paige's cell. "Don't you think you should wait? Maybe think it through a little more, about what you're gonna say and stuff like that." said Bret, he didn't want to hurt his best  
  
friend again. "Yeah... I guess you're right." Elijah snapped the cell phone shut and stood up. "We should probably get back to the hotel... we could call them tomorrow, and maybe get  
  
together or something?" Bret suggested. "Okay..." Elijah sighed and they both trudged towards the garage.  
  
Elijah looked like shit. His eyes were really red, and he was trying to conceal the fact that his heart was broken.  
Bret looked like shit. He was trying to conceal the fact he really liked both Ashley and Kate, and had embarrassed himself in front of both of them.  
Paige looked like shit. She had been crying all the way back to Kate's place, trying to convince herself that what Elijah said wasn't true.  
Kate looked like shit. She had completely been cried all over by Paige, and now was waiting patiently for her parents to come pick them up.  
The only people who didn't look like shit were Craig and Ashley, who were happily speeding along 495 until they could get to Ashley's apartment, and talk without the presence of her parents.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elijah walked out the door, and spotted Paige and Kate sitting on a nearby curb.  
"PAIGE!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.  
She turned.  
"Fuck." she muttered.  
"Don't give him the light of day!" Kate angrily assured her.  
"I'm going to let him see what he has to say," Paige spat. Elijah sprinted up.  
"Paige, please, let's talk, I really need to tell you..." he started.  
"Fuck off," Kate said. Elijah glared at her.  
"Without your friend?" Elijah prompted. Paige got up.  
"I'll be right back, Kate," she muttered. They walked off.  
"So..." said Bret.  
"Fuck off," said Kate.  
"That seems to be your popular mode of response, eh?" he said.  
"Do you know what you did to both Paige and Elijah?" Kate said, jaw clenched.  
"Yes, well.." he started.  
"Is it even true?" Kate asked. Bret shrugged.  
"Yes, but I don't think he meant it, I was teasing him a lot, and sort of pressuring him into saying it.." Bret said.  
"You are a complete jackass, I am going to find Paige." Kate walked off.   
"KATE!" he yelled. She turned around.  
"Do you want me to kick you again?" Bret shook his head. "That's what I thought."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Up close, Paige could tell Elijah had been crying.  
"That was a really rotten thing to say," Paige said, curtly.  
"I didn't.. I couldn't...It was horrible, but I didn't mean it. Bret had been teasing me cause you were young and everything, and I was really tired, and I just gave in. I didn't mean it."  
"That's so horrible.. and to think- I was going to have sex with you!" Paige cried.  
"I love you." Paige turned around.  
"What?"  
"I love you, and I know it's not the right time, and I've only known you a few weeks, and your a minor, but like- I just feel like our spirits connect and I'm so sorry and I love you." Elijah was left vulnerable, and powerless. He didn't know how Paige was going to respond.  
"I need a ride home." She said. "You might as well be the one who gives it."  
He took it as the most forgiveness she would offer.  
"And I love you, too."  
His heart stopped beating.  
"Really?" he said, jubilant.  
"Yes," she said. "But, you have to make it up to me."  
"How?" he started, hugging her so tight. He didn't want to let her go again.  
"I have an idea..." she said, smiling.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret sat waiting very patiently for Elijah to come back. He was the one, after all, who had brought him to D.C. in the first place. He was the one who had chided on him to "take a tour of the nation's capital." Jeesh. All for one stupid girl.   
Bret wondered if Elijah and Paige had made up yet. They were bound to make up.  
Bret wondered if Ashley and Craig had made out yet. They were bound to make out.  
Bret sighed. He was such a loser. He saw a silver mini cooper drive away.  
Shit, he thought. Now I have no ride.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley put her keys down with a plink on the counter. She turned around, and smiled.  
"Sorry my apartment isn't as impressive as yours." Ashley said.  
"It's all good," said Craig, smiling.  
"Do you know, I say that ALL the time!!!" Ashley exclaimed.  
"I sort of noticed," Craig said, smiling. "Is that a Christmas tree?" he asked, indicating the silver tree in the corner.  
"Eh.." said Ashley, embarrassed.  
"Whatever, let's go and talk." Craig said. "Can we go to your bedroom?"  
"Eh," said Ashley. She was a little concerned all the posters of Haldir would be disconcerting to Craig. "How about the couch?" she asked.  
"Yes," said Craig. "The couch." Ashley went over to the couch and set it up. Craig walked over to Ashley's door, and when she wasn't looking, locked it. With a clink, Ashley was trapped.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"ELIJAH!" Paige said, looking around. The car skidded to a stop.  
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Kate yelled. "Are you purposefully trying to make him a bad driver?"  
"Where's Bret?" she asked.  
"Shit," said Elijah.  
"Let's leave him," said Kate. Paige stared at her.  
"Alright," Paige said, and they drove on.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret sat. And waited.... and waited some more. Shit, thought Bret. They're not coming back. He stood up and looked around. He was outside of the airport... in the cold...without a ride... being from another country and having no idea where the heck anything was. Bret walked through the sliding doors of the airport to the ticketing counter." Excuse me?" said Bret to a man behind the counter who was fat and had large glasses. He looked up at Bret and frowned. "Can I help you?" he asked nastily. "Yeah... I'm from out of the country and don't have a ride or any money." Bret said  
  
hastily. "Oh." "So..." "How am I supposed to help you, young man?" he asked. "Could I use your phone perhaps?" Bret asked. "Um..." "Please... this is kind of an emergency." Bret said, looking around. "Okay..." the small fat man finally said. "Thank you so much." Bret said with relief. He grabbed the phone and began to dial...  
  
wait... who was he calling? Oh yes... Elijah. That was the only number he had.  
  
The phone rang on the other end of the line... and it rang... and it rang so more. "Hello?" came Elijah's voice. "Elijah?" "Bret? Sorry about leaving you at the airport and all." Elijah said. "Uh... right... can I you come and get me?" Bret was annoyed. "Sure... I have to drop Paige and Kate off first... and then I'll be right over." "Great, thanks." Bret said, hanging up. Bret thanked the fat man with glasses and turned around to go sit down. His eyes  
  
widened when he saw someone waving at him... "BOB!"  
"Er... Bert!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret looked at Bob and smiled. "Are you stalking me?" he asked, with a bit of intensity.   
"How'd you guess?" asked Bob. Bret blinked.  
"Seeing as you follow me everywhere..." Bret trailed off.  
"Dude, do you have any booze?" Bob asked.  
"No," said Bret. He walked away, muttering under his breath.  
Bret sighed. His life was the pitts.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley could hardly contain the happiness she felt inside. "Craig," she chimed.  
"Yes," Craig said, an odd look upon his face. "What's going on?" Ashley asked, strangely intrigued by Craig. "I just. have missed you so." Craig started.  
"I have missed you too," Ashley said happily.  
"I have wanted you."  
"Me, too," Ashley said wistfully. Craig sat down on the couch next to her, and starting kissing her. This was nothing like the kiss that he had given her at the car. It was harsh, and strange. "Craig, too fast," she said, but her efforts feel on deaf ears. He pinned her against the couch. "Craig, too hard," she said, but again he ignored her. "Craig!" she yelled. He turned to look at her.  
And a chill went up Ashley's spine.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret wandered towards the vending machines, and scrounged up some change that was in  
  
his pocket. Doritios... no. Starburst... no. Beer-Flavored Gummy Bears... Yes! That was  
  
the way to get Bob to leave him alone.  
  
He paid for the candy and walked towards Bob who was still sitting there looking  
  
around.  
  
"Hey, Bob... listen... I got you some booze." Bob's face lit up.  
"Booze, Bernard?"  
  
"Yes, booze." Bret smiled and handed him the gummy bears. Bob tore the package open and dumped the bears into his mouth and began to chew...  
  
"Wow! These are great!" Bob exclaimed, between mouthfuls. Bret smiled and looked towards the exit. Elijah was waving at him.  
  
"Sorry, mate. Got to go." Bret slapped Bob on the back.  
  
Bob nearly choked on the gummy bears.  
"Bye Biff!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret jumped into the car happily.  
  
"Finally! Bob was stalking me..." Bret said breathlessly.  
  
"Really now?" Elijah asked amusedly. "THE Bob who gave you booze."  
  
"Yup." said Bret smiling.  
  
"Wow... it's been a long day. Let's go back to the hotel."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley was looking around desperately for some way to get out. There was nothing she could see of that could save her at the moment. She knew now how Paige had felt when Dominic had tried to rape her that summer. But then there had been Elijah. And there was no Elijah there to save her. She had to think fast.  
She spied her laptop, calling her from a distance. It was open to AIM. She needed to let someone know that she was in danger. "CRAIG!" Ashley yelled. No response. She had to keep struggling, with the invitation of her laptop in the foreground. She had to be in danger with help only feet away. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"Hey, man," Bret said. "I am really sorry... about earlier." Elijah's eyes darkened.  
"You don't want to distract me while I'm driving do you?" Elijah asked, shortly.  
"I'm sorry," said Bret.  
"A car is a weapon," said Elijah, now joking.  
"I guess it is," said Bret. They drove past Sibley Hospital, and saw the entrance to the "Rape Ambulance" section.  
"Do you want me to put us in danger?" asked Elijah.  
Suddenly, something clicked in Bret's head.  
"Elijah, we have to go to Ashley's apartment." Bret said.  
"Dude, she is NOT into you right now!" Elijah said, turning his head.  
"Watch the road," Bret said, feebly. "No, I mean it... I think Craig is being so nice to Ashley so that he can rape her. I just get the feeling." Elijah stared at him.  
"Well, she already dislikes you, and checking up on her wouldn't be a bad idea," Elijah said. "From what I gather, Craig is being weird."  
"Call Paige and get directions," Bret commanded.  
"Right," said Elijah. And they turned around towards Silver Spring. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Paige saw it was Elijah on caller ID and picked up.  
"Hey baby," Paige crooned. In the background, Kate made a yakking sound.  
"Paige," Elijah said desperately. "How do you get to Ashley's house?"  
"What?" Paige asked.  
"Bret has a feeling that Craig may be doing something to Ashley."  
"Oh my god," Paige said. "Here..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"Hi, you've reached the Speer Residence, please leave a message after the tone.... beep," the answering machine said.  
"Ashley, this is me, please call back right away," Paige said worriedly. "I'm scared." A click was heard.  
Ashley had to listen while Paige reached out. Her help wasn't going to get there in time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley was nervous... Craig was in the other room. She had re-accessed the situation.  
  
She wanted to do this and didn't know why she was so nervous about the whole ordeal.  
  
Maybe it was the fact that he had come onto her so fast when they got back to her  
  
apartment, she didn't know. Her friends were obviously worried about her... they  
  
probably thought that Craig was trying to rape her... but he wasn't. Ashley wanted him  
  
to do this. She WANTED to do this.  
  
She picked up the phone and dialed Paige's number. "Pick up pick up..." she whispered  
  
to herself and was startled as she was met with a loud and frightened, "Hello?"  
  
"Paige? It's Ashley."  
  
"Ashley, oh my god. Are you alright?" Paige asked.  
  
"I'm fine. Craig's in the other room... I wanted to call you so you that you didn't  
  
worry..."  
  
"I was so SCARED, Ashley. He is going to rape you!"  
  
"No, he's not. I want this... and so does he." Ashley said and looked towards the other  
  
room.   
  
Craig walked out of it towards the living room where she was standing. He smiled at  
  
her, and sat on the couch, waiting for her to finish talking with Paige.  
  
"Listen Paige... I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow, alright?"  
  
"Yeah, okay... Love you... please call me sooner if you need to..." Paige said,  
  
hesitant in hanging up.  
  
"Yeah, you too. Thanks, bye." Ashley hung up and looked over at Craig.   
  
She walked over to the couch and sat down on Craig's lap. "I love you," she  
  
whispered.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Elijah sped down the road to the gas station where he was going to ask someone for  
  
directions.  
  
The phone rang.  
  
Bret answered it. "Hello?"  
  
"Elijah?"   
  
"No, this is Bret."   
  
"This is Paige..."  
  
"Oh hi..." Bret said, looking over at Elijah.  
  
"Ashley's okay... she called me."  
  
Bret let out a sigh of relief.  
  
Elijah looked over at him questioningly.  
  
"Are you sure she's okay?"  
  
"She sounded fine... she said she wanted to do it with Craig. She said they both wanted  
  
it." Bret growled. His anger shot up... he was furious. He passed the phone to Elijah.  
  
"Paige... is everything alright?" Elijah asked.  
  
"Yes, baby everything's fine... Ashley called. She said it was okay." Elijah smiled at hearing Kate make a gagging sound in the background.  
  
"I love you sweetie, I'll talk to you later, then, okay?" It was Bret's turn to gag.  
  
"I love you, too, Lij. Talk to you later." Paige hung up.  
  
"Hey, mate, could drive us to a bar or something... I need a drink." Bret said. Elijah looked over at his friend. "Hey, Bret? Is everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah... yeah." Bret waved him off, looking out the window. "I'm fine."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate sighed with relief. "Oh god, I'm so glad Ashley's okay." Paige nodded.  
"Me too."  
  
"We should call her in the morning, just to make sure."  
  
"Yeah," said Paige, smiling dreamily as she thought of Elijah. "Yeah..."  
  
"Dude! Don't get all mushy on me, okay?" Kate yelled and grinned.  
  
"Sorry." Paige shook her head, a smile still plastered on her face.  
  
"Cause Elijah's no match for..." Kate held up an autographed photo of her man, "MIKE!" Paige rolled her eyes.  
"Right Kate." Kate smirked.  
  
"Let's do something to get our minds off life, eh?  
  
"Like what?" asked Paige. Kate typed in something on the computer and Paige's ears were greeted with a lovely voice.  
  
"The scroll, the scroll, the buttons, the buttons, scrolling so smooth like the butter  
  
on the muffin." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey," Ashley said, "I'm sorry that I had a bit of an anxiety attack earlier."  
"That's okay." Craig said smiling. "Sorry I was going too far too fast, I sorta didn't hear you."  
"Wasn't I screaming?" Ashley said, a little unsure.  
"No," said Craig. "You were barely whispering."  
"Oh," said Ashley, surprised at herself.  
"Is something wrong?" said Craig. "Everyone seems to be really afraid."  
"It's just," Ashley started. "Paige almost got raped last summer by this guy."  
"Oh," Craig said, confused. "Which one is Paige?"  
"Elijah's girlfriend," said Ashley, smiling.  
"Oh, the teary-eyed one?" he said.  
"Yup," said Ashley. Craig leaned in closer.  
"My question is, why did you lock the door?" Ashley said. Craig had a serious face.  
"I didn't want anyone walking in on us, unannounced," said Craig. "If it were your parents, the key would have alerted us."  
"Oh," said Ashley, still not contented.  
"Look, is something up?" Craig said.  
"It's just..." Ashley started.  
"What?" Craig looked at her.  
"A very long time ago," she started, "I had this dream. And a man like you was in it. A man that looks like Bret was in it, and a girl that looks like Paige was there, too. There was fighting, and.." she stopped.  
"And..." Craig prompted.  
"There was a gunshot." Ashley said. "and before it hits anyone, I wake up."  
"Like a prophecy." Craig said, looking straight at her.  
"I hope not," said Ashley, uncertain.   
  
Ashley woke up the next morning and looked around the living room, finding herself  
  
lying on the couch; Oh yeah, she recalled, she had decided to sleep out on the couch,  
  
Craig was in her room. The silver Christmas tree that had been up for months stood in  
  
the corner menacingly. She stood up and walked towards her bedroom, Whitman, her  
  
skinny-butted tabby cat, sidling up beside her legs. She slowly peaked inside and saw  
  
that Craig was still asleep, his arm thrown over the side of the bed onto the table.  
  
She smiled. It had took her some time last night to try and explain the Haldir pictures  
  
taped all over the wall to Craig who had just smiled and said it was "a lovely room".  
  
Gray Mitty slept on his leg, probably crushing it under his fuzzy blubber, and Monkey  
  
slept by his head, curled up in a fuzzy gray ball. She glanced over at the horrid  
  
picture of Harry Potter she had painted several years ago with a five o'clock shadow.  
  
For some strange reason it reminded her of her parents.  
Speaking of her parents- her parents would be back this evening, and the thought made Ashley frown. She was going to have Craig stay. And she was going to find an excuse for it. And she was going to make her parents leave the house as much as possible or have she and Craig do the same.  
  
Leaving the room she went in search of breakfast and found some instant pancake mix  
  
that had probably been sitting in her cupboard for years, some cracked eggs in the  
  
fridge, and a box of frozen waffles that lay hidden beneath a heap of mysterious frozen  
  
packages of meat and a box of popsicles. She shrugged and pulled the easiest-to-prepare  
  
food item (waffles) out of the freezer. Looking at the expiration date (April 2004)  
  
, which was only several months old, she took out a few waffles and put them in the  
  
toaster. Waiting for them to toast, she picked up the phone and dialed Kate's number,  
  
as she knew Paige would be there too.  
  
"Hello?" came a sleepy reply.  
  
"Kate?"  
  
"Oy! Ashley! Why are you calling so early?"  
  
"'Tis 11 o'clock in the morning, my friend."  
  
She could hear Kate shifting around to look at a clock of some sort. "Er... right."  
  
"Watcha doing?"  
  
"Making breakfast. Expired frozen waffles."  
  
"That's nice." Kate replied, yawning.  
  
"Is Paige there?"  
  
"She's still asleep. We were up all night watching those Strong Bad emails and playing  
  
Trogdor."  
  
"That sounds like fun."  
  
"Yup. Did everything go okay last night?"  
  
"Nothing happened, if that's what you mean. Craig and I stayed up playing The Matrix  
  
Reloaded. He really sucked at it... You know, I gave him that cheat so that he'd  
  
have infinite health, but it didn't work on him either. He died twenty times. Must be a  
  
defective game or something." Kate laughed.  
"Hmm... probably."  
  
"Get anymore emails from Mike, lately?"  
  
"I got one recently. He said the divorce was almost final... it would be another week  
  
or so."  
  
"Man that stuff takes a long time."  
  
Kate sighed. "I know..."  
  
"Listen I have to go... my waffles are smoking and the toaster looks like it's ready  
  
to explode. Tell Paige I said hi."  
  
"Will do. Talk to you later."  
  
Ashley hung up and ran over to pull her waffles out of the toaster; they were smoking  
  
and black and inedible by the looks of them. She sighed, tossing them into the trash  
  
can and pulling out the box of popsicles from the freezer. She threw them on the  
  
counter she pulled one out of its package and stuck it in her mouth; pulling it out  
  
quickly she scowled. It tasted rotten if that were possible for a popsicle. What flavor  
  
was it supposed to be? Rancid cottage cheese? No, strawberry. Strawberry my ass,  
  
thought Ashley, throwing it in the trash. She groaned. At least they were going to get  
  
something decent to eat at Benihana's today, she thought as she glared at the blank  
  
television. She had been doing a lot more glaring lately, she noticed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret woke up the next morning with a hangover, which was weird for him, because he never got hangovers. He usually got only a little bit tipsy but it eventually wore off  
  
as the day went on. His mouth tasted like paint and felt as though he had been run over  
  
by several 18-wheelers. He vaguely remembered what happened the day before. He  
  
remembered only some of the major details. He remembered Bob. And finding Elijah and  
  
Paige getting busy behind a school. And holding a bra. And nearly pulverizing Craig.  
  
And glaring at Ashley a lot. And being stranded at the airport. And seeing Bob again.  
  
And finding out that Bob was stalking him. And getting wasted at the pub later that  
  
day. Okay, maybe he remembered everything, but that was beside the point.  
  
He turned over on his bed and looked at Elijah who was combing his hair. Elijah was  
  
dressed... ALREADY. Bret growled.  
  
"Oh hey, Bret. Good morning." Elijah said, buttoning up his shirt. Bret groaned, rolling to the other side and off the edge of the bed.  
  
"I take it it isn't such a good morning for you, eh?" Bret groaned again in reply.  
  
"You should probably get dressed. We're supposed to meet Paige and everybody at  
  
Benihana's in an hour."  
  
"Beni-huh-huh's?" Bret said, slowly getting up. He ran his hand through his midnight  
  
black hair. It stuck up about four more inches then it normally did in the back.  
  
"It's a Japanese restaurant... down in Bethesda somewhere. You like sushi, right?"  
  
Elijah said, putting on his shoes.  
  
"Uh... yeah. I guess." said Bret walking towards the bathroom to take a shower,  
  
stumbling along the way. "Is Craig gonna be there?"  
  
"Yup. So is Ashley." said Elijah.  
  
Bret groaned again, closing the door behind him.  
  
Elijah smiled and shook his head.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate had just gotten off the phone with Mike and was happily bouncing about the room, nearly tripping over Arwen in the process.  
  
"What's up with you Kate?" Paige smiled, brushing her hair and putting it into a  
  
ponytail. "High off something?"  
  
"No..." Kate grinned and bounced around some more. "Mike is coming to to the  
  
restaurant! He's going to meet us there is an HOUR!"  
  
"Really?" Paige exclaimed.  
  
"Uh huh! I haven't seen him FOREVER!!!!"  
  
"That's awesome, Kate! Wow, you look like you are going to implode with happiness..."  
  
"I AM!!!!! DIE AVRIL DIE!!! You guitarist-stealing, not-your-own-song- writer,  
  
punk-wannabe BITCH!" Kate giggled maniacally and took a dart and threw it at Avril  
  
Lavgne picture she had on her wall, made and set up specifically for the purpose of  
  
Kate mutilating it. It landed in the middle of her lopsided mouth. Paige and Kate  
  
smiled. It was going to be all good.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley heard stirring in her bedroom.  
"Hey sexy thang," she heard Craig calling from the hallway.  
"Hey Craig," Ashley said.  
"So," he started. "We haven't really... talked.. yet."  
"We don't need to talk," Ashley said, grinning. She kissed him.  
"Wow," he said, mid-kiss. "That's the first time you've kissed me first." Ashley blushed.  
"We're due at Bennihana's in an hour," she said.  
"Whaa?" Craig looked puzzled.  
"We have to eat," Ashley mimed eating, "at Bennihana's," she picked up a Japanese dish, "in an hour," she pointed at her watch.  
"I got you," said Craig, sarcastically.  
"It's sushi... and other stuff."  
"So specific!" Craig joked. He leaned forward, and kissed Ashley. "You taste like toothpaste," he said, grinning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Elijah couldn't stand it much longer.  
"I have to do something nice for Paige," he said. Bret stared at him.  
"I'm not in the mood to hear about the romantic things you are going to do for your lover," Bret said, whining.  
"Shut up and think," he commanded Bret. Bret looked evilly at him. "What would Paige like?"  
"If you fucked her, now let me go back to sleep," Bret said, moodily.  
"Hey," said Elijah. "You may have an idea." He picked up the phone in the room. "Reception? Yes, could I rent the spa this evening... I'm aware of the cost... yes. I accept. Could I also rent a suite for the night in addition to this room? Yes. Thank you." Elijah hung up.  
"What the hell are you planning, dude?" Bret said. Elijah smiled. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Mike was pretty nicely dressed. For Mike that is.  
It was funny how Kate had managed to pop into his head the past couple of days. He had wanted to see her; she seemed really nice on email. So he had hastily told the band that he was going to schedule an interview in D.C. (which he did, with YM), and would do some "sight-seeing." The site? Kate.  
He didn't know exactly why she was there in his mind, but he had the impression that she was someone who could cheer him up. The only problem was, he would have to sit through a whole meal with her friends. Apparently, some other celebrities were in town to see Kate's friends.  
There must be something in the water, he thought. To make these D.C. girls so unforgettable. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Craig and Ashley were the last to arrive at the restaurant; they had issues with the  
  
rental car. Apparently someone thought it was funny to place a box of pizza in the hood  
  
of the car. Kate happily introduced everyone to Mike, who had a grin plastered on his  
  
face. Elijah and Paige were staring at each other throughout the introduction of Mike,  
  
holding hands under the table. Bret had decided to sit at the other end of the table,  
  
to Elijah's left, away from Craig and Ashley, whom he scowled out openly, making the  
  
chef who was cooking at the table slightly nervous. Elijah had requested a bottle of  
  
wine for the table, and the chef had some trouble opening in, the cork nearly hitting  
  
Bret square in the forehead. If it weren't for Bret's (Figwit's) "elvish" reflexes,  
  
then he would have probably been knocked unconscious.  
  
The chef poured everyone a glass of the Chardonnay, and Bret glared at it. He didn't  
  
really want to drink any more alcohol.  
  
Kate looked at it uncertainly. She remembered having chugged a glass of Champagne last  
  
year during New Year's with Paige. Oh well, she was not going to chug this one. She was going to look civilized in front of Mike.  
  
Paige smiled at Elijah as he announced a toast. Everyone raised his or her glasses to  
  
something he was saying, Ashley wasn't paying much attention. She was hungry and  
  
staring at her sushi.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hello everyone!" Elijah said, happily.  
"Hello!" said Paige. Everyone else was preoccupied with either the food or someone sitting next to him or her. Or in Bret's case, Ashley, Craig, Kate, and Mike.  
"Two of you I know from Lord of the Rings," Elijah said. Bret sheepishly raised his pinky, and Craig smiled.  
"Two of you I don't really know at all," said Elijah. "But you seem nice enough." Neither Kate nor Ashley seemed to hear this.  
"Um, hi dude, I don't know you at all," Elijah said to Mike.  
"I'm Mike from Linkin Park."  
"Oh," said Elijah, with a slight trace of dislike. "I didn't know."  
"Hem hem," said Paige, trying to speed along the toast.  
"Anyways," Elijah said hastily. "This toast is really for Paige, because she is an incredible person, and I am in constant admiration of her stamina, and love."  
Finally everyone seemed to be paying attention, so Elijah raised his glass, and everyone mimicked out of respect for Paige, who was blushing.  
"That was cute," she said, smiling.  
"Just you wait until tonight," Elijah said.  
"Sushi ees readie!" the chef said.  
"Thank god!" Ashley muttered. Everyone dug in, save Paige, Elijah, Kate, or Mike. Or Craig, or Bret. Alright, no one dug in but Ashley, who was ravenously eating her food. When all eyes were upon her, Ashley finally looked up. "Whadouyawan?" Ashley said through a mouthful. Craig sighed.  
"That's my kind of woman," he said, laughing. Bret growled.  
"Oh no," muttered Paige. "Not again."  
"Shit," said Kate. She kicked Bret under the table, and leaned over to him. "You are not going to embarrass me in front of Mike," Kate whispered angrily.  
"I heard my name," said Mike. Kate whipped around, knocking his water glass to the floor.  
"I'm sorry, so sorry!" Kate yelled as everyone evacuated like a nuclear bomb had just detonated.  
"Can we get out of her unannounced," asked Paige to Elijah.  
"I think so," Elijah said, smiling. The two of them ducked out just in time.  
"Damn it," Ashley said. "Paige and Elijah escaped!"  
"Let's go," said Craig. "I think Bret's about to implode," he said, as Bret gave the two of them a smoldering look. They ran out, while Kate was still mopping up Mike.  
When she finally looked up, the only person still there was Bret.  
"What are you still doing here?" she asked. "Why haven't you left?"  
"I dunno," he said depressingly.  
"Uhh," said Mike. "I like it better this way, anyways."  
"Why?" said Kate, worried.  
"I don't like Elijah," said Mike.  
"Oh," said Kate, waiting for an elaboration.  
"Well," Mike started. "We once insulted his acting in LotR publicly, and now, he hates us."  
"Shit," said Kate. "Paige is one of my best friends."  
"Can I get a ride with you two?" Bret asked.  
Kate kicked him under the table. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige and Elijah ran down the street to Elijah's car as if they were being chased by a  
  
SWAT team. Paige quickly got into the car and Elijah into the driver's seat and drove off.  
  
"Where are we going?" Paige asked excitedly.  
  
"Well, we didn't really get anything to eat... and I want to spend the day with you  
  
ALONE... so I'm going to take you out to a nice restaurant."  
  
"But we were just at a nice restaurant..." Paige said, looking behind them to make sure  
  
Bret wasn't following them to try and hitch a ride.  
  
"Yes, but things just aren't the same when all of your friends are around." Elijah said  
  
hesitantly. Paige looked at him with disbelief.  
  
"I didn't mean it that way. I really like them... it's just, I really want to spend  
  
time with just you today, you know?" Paige smiled and nodded.  
  
"That was an amazing toast. You know... you really didn't have to say it if you didn't  
  
mean it..." she said, still slightly bitter about what had occurred the day before.  
  
"I meant every word I said, Paige. I love you... more than I've loved anyone before."  
  
Elijah said, taking his eyes from the road for a moment to look at her. Paige kissed him, and glanced at the road for a second.  
  
"OLD LADY!!! WATCH OUT!!" she yelped as Elijah had to quickly swerve out of the way to avoid hitting an elderly woman crossing the street wearing a particularly ugly yellow sweater.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret groaned at put his head on the table. Kate and Mike had left several minutes ago,  
  
leaving Bret with the strange Japanese chef who looked at him quizzically.  
  
"You stinky American like them?" he asked. "They no pay for SUSHI."  
  
"Piss off." said Bret. He stayed lying there like that for several minutes. The chef began to prod him with a chopstick.  
  
Bret groaned.  
  
"Benny?" a voice was heard behind him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige was staring into space as the drive wore on.  
"I really planned something special for us today, you know," Elijah said, smiling  
"I'm glad," said Paige, "but I don't need you to look away from the road to appreciate the effort." Elijah scowled.  
"Do you not like my driving?" he asked. Paige chortled.  
"It's not... I think you get distracted easily."  
"Anyone would get distracted with someone like you in the car," he said, swerving from one lane to the next.  
"WATCH THE ROAD!" Paige screamed. "Why don't we skip the restaurant, I'm not that hungry. Let's just go to whatever else you have planned," she said sweetly, concealing the fact that her stomach was churning from all the bad driving.  
"Alright," said Elijah, turning around. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"Ashley," said Craig, taking the exit towards Wheaton.  
"Yes?" Ashley said, sweetly.  
"Could we do something fun, today? I feel like all we ever do is be upset."  
"Oh, thank god!" Ashley said, laughing. "I would love to do something fun!"  
"Why don't we go bowling?" Craig said. Ashley smiled.  
"Turn left here, then." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
The suite that Elijah had booked was the most luxurious in the whole Four Seasons Hotel in Georgetown. It was stunningly decorated, with high bedposts, and silk curtains. The view from the windows was spectacular, and Paige nearly lost her breath when she saw it.  
"This is fabulous!" Paige said, smiling. "This is the most amazing suite I have ever seen in my whole entire life." Elijah laughed.  
"I thought you might be a little impressed. But really, the surprise doesn't lie here." Paige gave him a look. "I mean, it can be here if you like," he said, raising his eyebrows at the thought that perhaps she didn't even need what he had planned downstairs.  
"Maybe... later," she said, lips pouted.  
"God, you are..." Elijah started.  
"Magnificent? Beautiful? The best girlfriend in the whole wide world for taking you back?"  
"All of the above," he said, putting his hands around her waist. "And more." Paige let him kiss her neck. "Let's go downstairs," he whispered, right on the soft spot in her neck. "That's where I have something planned."  
Paige and Elijah walked down the stairs and into the spa, which he had the key to. He locked it after them, and smiled. "I rented the whole place," he said. "Now go in there," he indicated the bathroom, "and wrap a towel around yourself."  
"What do you have planned?" she said, mock frightened.  
"You'll see."  
Paige went into the bathroom, and got undressed. She put on her towel, and walked into the massage room.  
She stopped breathing.  
The whole floor was covered in rose petals, and on the massage table was even more. Elijah was standing there, arms wide, as if to say, "This is all yours." Steam was coming from the steamer in the center of the room, and soft music was playing "Crash" by the Dave Matthews Band.  
"This is amazing," Paige said, in awe. Elijah beckoned her over to him.  
"I am going to give you a massage," he said. "Free of charge." Paige laughed. She slid onto the table, face down, and Elijah pulled down her towel only to mid-back, unable to see her front. He massaged her back, and got all the kinks out. She was feeling relaxed, but at the same time, she knew something was going to happen.  
"Elijah," Paige said.  
"Yes?" he asked. Paige hoisted herself and her towel up and kissed him. She tied her towel around, and started to unbutton Elijah's shirt. She was kissing him, and felt a thousand thoughts and emotions surging to her surface. She felt the need to be impulsive.  
She took off his shirt, and hugged his bare chest to her towel. She put her arms around his shoulder, and kissed him with all her mouth. She was still sitting on the massage table, while he was standing.  
"Paige," he whispered, out of breath. "Do you want to go any further?" She thought for a moment.  
"Yes," she said, in-between kisses. Elijah slid his hands to the knot that tied her towel, and Paige let it fall to her waist. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Craig turned into the parking lot of the bowling alley. "Benji Bowls for Bubbles" was  
  
what it was called. Ashley's eyebrows rose.  
  
"So..." she said, looking up at the flashing neon sign. "We can only stay for a little  
  
while... my parents are going to be back soon." Craig frowned.  
"That's okay..."  
  
"I want you to stay over at my place, though. I'll think of an excuse to tell my  
  
parents. I'm sure they'll be fine with it... I'll try to get them out of the house and  
  
stuff."  
  
"Sounds like a plan," Craig said smiling, unbuckling his seat belt.  
  
"We can go horseback riding and stuff... you know, fun things." Ashley tried, looking  
  
at Craig.  
  
"Horseback riding?" Craig asked.  
  
"Yeah... I have a horse down at a farm in Burtonsville."  
  
"Really? I would love to see her sometime." Craig smiled.  
  
"You're not scared of them are you?" Ashley asked, grinning as she teased him.  
  
"No... of course not..." Craig lied, stepping out of the car. Ashley rolled her eyes and stepped out of the car.  
  
They both walked into the bowling alley. They were going to have the time of their  
  
lives.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret smiled as he turned and saw Bob.  
  
"How's life going for you, Bob?"  
  
"Er..." Bob shrugged, sitting down into the seat next to Bret. The chef looked over at them and scowled.  
  
"You stupid American pigs pay and LEAVE." Bret glared and flicked off the chef, who bowed to him in response, obviously not understanding his obscene gesture.  
  
"Here, Bob," Bret said, pushing the bottle of Chardonnay towards him. "Merry  
  
Christmas." He got up and ran away... leaving Bob with the bill.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret ran outside the restaurant and saw Mike and Kate getting into a taxi... obviously leaving.  
  
"KATE!!!! WAIT!!" Bret called as she was stepping into the cab.  
  
"What?!" Kate shouted, pulling Mike into the back seat. She turned to Mike. "I am so sorry about this Mike. Bret's a little... uh..." Kate made a strange gesture with her hands.  
  
"It's okay. Believe me... I've been around weirder... Chester for example... he sweats  
  
excessively." Mike smiled at her. Kate laughed.  
  
And with that they drove away, leaving Bret behind once again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was the most vulnerable place Paige had ever put herself in. She was giving herself completely and entirely to Elijah, without a doubt in her mind.  
But it still was the scariest thing she had ever done.  
She loved Elijah, and he loved her, but somehow the world seemed to blend and blur at the line they were now crossing. It was fast, too fast, but at the same time she wanted this more than anything in the whole entire world.  
They were together, alive- and alight. His eyes had taken on a whole new dimension while they were in the spa that afternoon. They no longer burned with ice when Paige looked at them. They seemed to sparkle, and to search her. She was letting Elijah in deeper than any man or woman had ever gone. She was letting him into her heart.  
She felt like she was waiting on the edge of a precipice. Elijah could either give her a parachute, and they would take the ride of their lives, or he would let go, and she would plunge to her death.  
Either way, she was scared out of her mind.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate was grinning at Mike the whole way back to Kate's house in the cab.  
  
"So..." said Kate. "You don't mind coming over to my house for dinner?"  
  
"Not at all," said Mike. "I would love to meet your family." Kate smiled.  
"I have a little brother who's name is Alec. Just ignore him."  
  
"Is Alec as cool as you?" Kate blushed.  
"Hah, he's such a dork. Like I said, just ignore him. He'll probably be bombarding you with questions." Mike laughed.  
"I don't mind." There was a silence between them, and then Mike pulled something out of his pocket.  
  
It was wrapped up in shiny silver paper.  
  
"Is this for me?" Kate asked.  
  
"Yeah." said Mike, holding the package out to her. Kate tore through the paper instantly.  
  
"Oh my god!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide.  
  
"You don't like it?"  
  
"Oh my god..." was all Kate said. Mike was nervous.  
"Do you like it." Kate threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. She pulled back suddenly.  
  
"Er... sorry..." she said, looking back down at Mike's gift.  
  
It was an autographed Linkin Park cd. There was Sweaty Chester's name, Mr. Hahn...  
  
those other guys... and then there was Mike's autograph. "To Kate... Love Mike"  
  
She was too happy to be able to read the words in between those other words.  
  
Mike smiled.  
They were almost home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige looked up at Elijah. They couldn't speak to each other.  
"I love you," he said, more passionately than ever before. Paige looked at him, and smiled.  
"That was amazing," she said. "I felt like I knew you better than if we had spoken for," she looked at her watch. "35 minutes?" Elijah nervously laughed.  
"That felt longer than 35 minutes," Elijah said sheepishly. Paige laughed.  
"I feel like we really got so close.. so intimate," she said, trailing off, looking into his eyes.  
"I just want to sleep next to you, now." he said.  
"Yes," Paige said. "Let's just lie together." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"St-rike!" the man behind the counter yelled as Craig got his 10th strike in a row. He posed wildly and smiled at Ashley.  
"THAT WAS AWESOME!" he yelled. Ashley looked at him glumly.  
"Oh, what?" he said, joking. "Are you pouting?"  
"No," she said, pouting.  
"Yes you are!" Craig yelled. He picked Ashley up, and spun her around in a large circle. He kissed her. Several people nearby stared.  
"Don't pay attention to them," he said, smiling. Ashley felt a buzz on her thigh.  
"Is that your cell phone," asked Craig, "or are you just happy to see me?"  
"Ha ha," said Ashley, grimacing.  
"Hello?" she said.  
"Hey," said a very different voice on the other line.  
"Is that you, Paige?"  
"Yes," said Paige, in a voice quite unlike her own.  
"Where are you? Are you okay?" Ashley said, worried. A long sigh was heard from the other end.  
"I'm in bed, next to Elijah who is sleeping, at the Four Seasons Hotel in Georgetown."  
"What?" Ashley said, loudly. Craig turned around.  
"I need to talk to you," Paige said animatedly.  
"Right," said Ashley. "I'll just nip into the bathrooms, then," she said, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her in a stall. "What is going on?"  
"Elijah and I had sex." Paige said, simply.  
"Oh my god," Ashley said slowly. "And this is..."  
"I don't know." Paige said truthfully. "This may be a good thing or a bad thing."  
"How do you feel?" Ashley said, doubting she wanted to hear the answer.  
"I feel," Paige started. "Alive, content, happy, searched, violated, betrayed, in love, connected, and ecstatic at the same time."  
"You're confusing me." Ashley said. "How can one person feel all those things at the same time?"  
"I don't know, I'm confusing myself."  
"Did you..." Ashley said this softly, "enjoy it?"  
"Yes," Paige said sighing happily. "Yes."  
"Then it's a good thing."  
"But I feel like, maybe... I did it too soon?" Paige asked Ashley.  
"Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. But, the truth of the matter is- you and Elijah, are you going to be the same after he wakes up."  
"I don't know," Paige said, crying. "I love him, and I had fun, and it was the happiest and scariest thing I have ever done... and I love him!" she exclaimed.  
"Call me when you tell me how you feel about this, okay?" Ashley said. "For now, hang in there."  
"Thanks," Paige whispered. And with that, she hung up. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"What was that all about?" Craig said, looking at Ashley with suspicion.  
"Oh, just Elijah and Paige," Ashley said, nonchalant.  
"Right," said Craig, getting up behind Ashley. "Right," he said, whispering into her neck.  
"Oh," Ashley said sexily. "Let's go home and meet my parents." Craig sighed.  
"I guess anything for the woman I love," he said, and together they trudged away from the bowling alley. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret was pissed off. This vacation was the vacation from hell, and he wanted out ASAP. No one liked him. No one was nice to him. He didn't get either of the girls he potentially wanted.  
"This blows," he said to himself out loud. "This blows majorly."  
He knocked on the door Elijah and he shared and found a note.  
"I'm getting lucky, mate :)"  
Damn it, he thought. Is everyone else lucky but me? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Craig drove home quickly, wanting them to get home as soon as possible, before Ashley's  
  
parents.  
  
"Oh god... Faster.... go faster Craig!" Ashley said, her fingers digging into the seat  
  
of the car. They swerved onto Snowbird Terrace, and quickly parked, Ashley looking  
  
suspiciously around the parking lot, happy to see that her parents were not yet home.  
  
They ran up the stairs, Ashley nearly tripping on her rug as she burst into the living  
  
room. Throwing the keys onto the counter, Craig looked around the room.  
  
"What should I do?" he asked, looking at his watch. They had twenty minutes.  
  
"We could... uh... MAKE DINNER... Yes! That's what we could do!" Ashley said,  
  
scrambling into the kitchen and throwing a pot onto the stove.  
  
"Damn."  
  
"What is it?" Craig asked, straightening out the couch.  
  
"I can't cook. And besides, we like, don't have any food in the house." Craig walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge.  
  
"Yeah, you're right... well... we could... set the table?" Ashley nodded.  
"Good idea." They got the plates and silver ware out of the cabinet and set the table up. Craig lit a few candles and stood back, admiring his handiwork. Ashley giggled.  
  
Craig looked at her and grinned.  
"What?"  
  
"It's just kind of weird, you know? Setting up a 'romantic dinner for my parents'." Craig nodded.  
  
"We don't have to stay either... I'm just going to introduce you and stuff... and we'll  
  
decide the sleeping arrangements and it'll be all good," she said quickly, glancing at  
  
her watch as well. Ten more minutes. They both walked over to the couch and sat down. Ashley sighed.  
  
"What's wrong?" Craig asked.  
  
"Oh... it's just the phone call I got from Paige when we were at the bowling alley." Craig nodded. He guessed what it was about.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Ashley shook her head.  
  
"Maybe some other time... it's just a little shocking... that's all." Ashley heard a jingling of keys outside her door. She gripped Craig's hand.  
  
"They're here..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate and Mike had arrived at Kate's house several hours ago. Kate's parents had gladly welcomed Mike into their home, offering to get him anything he needed, knowing that their daughter liked him a lot.  
  
Currently, Mike was sitting on the couch next to Kate; her parent's participating in a  
  
rather in-depth discussion about the songs that Linkin Park wrote. Mike happily partook  
  
in the conversation, taking notice of Kate's boredom, but trying not to be rude to her  
  
parents. Thankfully for Kate, Alec was over at a friend's house, and was going to be  
  
spending the night.  
  
Kate gave a small signal to her parents to leave them alone with a slight flick of her  
  
wrist, and they seemed to have gotten the picture, as they stood up suddenly and told  
  
Kate that they were going out to visit some family for dinner.  
  
"I'm so glad that you're here, Mike." Kate said, looking over at him as soon as her  
  
parents left. Mike smiled.  
  
"Me too. Your parents are really nice." Kate sighed.  
  
"Yeah, I guess." Arwen jumped onto Mike's lap and began purring loudly. Kate laughed.  
  
"Sorry about my cat." She tried to shoo her off of his lap, but she refused to budge.  
  
"It's okay... I love cats... I have one at home named Benji." Kate's eyes widened.  
  
"Benji?! That's so cool!"  
  
"Thanks," Mike laughed.  
  
"So... what do you think of Avril Lavgne?" Kate asked, eying Mike suspiciously. Mike grimaced.  
  
"She's a stuck up bitch." Kate grinned.  
  
"You've met her?" Mike nodded.  
  
"Unfortunately, yes." Kate smiled. She had an idea. Grabbing Mike's arm they ran downstairs to the basement.  
  
They were going to through darts at Avril's face.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hello!" sang Ashley's mom!  
  
"Hello!" sand Ashley's dad.  
Their eyes both fell on Craig.  
"What the hell is he doing here?" Ashley's dad asked, angrily.  
"Ahh, I can see I'm not welcome," Craig said, mad.  
"No, dad..." Ashley said, "It's okay."  
"He," Ashley's dad said pointing at Craig, "sleeps in a hotel."  
"Uhh...right?" Craig said.  
"Mom! DAD!" Ashley yelled.  
"We're leaving," Mr. Speer yelled at Ashley. "When he is gone, we will come back."  
They slammed the door.  
"Oh well," said Ashley. "Their gone then." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Paige couldn't stand watching Elijah sleep any longer. She would talk to him tomorrow.  
"Baby," she said, pushing him awake. "I have to go."  
"Mmmm.. stay.." he said, sleepily.  
"No," she said softly. "My mom wants me to go home."  
"Right," he said, face down on the pillow. "Call me tomorrow."  
"I will," Paige said, and walked out the door. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret was fed up. He was going to do something about it.  
He was going to write a song for Ashley. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Paige walked down the hall, and saw Bret leaving with his guitar.  
"HEY!" she called. Bret turned around. "Where are you going?"  
"To Ashley's," he said. "I wrote her a song."  
"Uhh, dude," Paige said. "She's going to hate that."  
"Oh well," Bret said, depressed. "I need to get her back."  
"Alright," said Paige. "I have to go see her, so you can ride with me." The two of them walked to the front of the hotel, and hailed a cab. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley sighed. This was not going too well.  
She needed her parents, and she needed Craig.  
She had no idea what to do. There was a knock at the door.  
"HEY!" said Paige, pushing Bret behind her.  
"HEY!" said Ashley. Craig waved hello. Then Bret stepped out from behind Paige's shadow.  
"What the hell is he doing here?" Craig asked, in a replica of Ashley's father. Oh god, thought Ashley, not another one.  
"I wrote Ashley a song," he said, staggering forward.  
"You let him IN HERE?" Ashley yelled at Paige. Her face turned white.  
"I'm sorry, I..."  
"SHUT UP!" yelled Bret. "This is for you-" he said, pointing a finger at Ashley.  
"Are you drunk again?" she yelled.  
"ASHLEY! YOU ARE SWEET" he yelled, drowning out her cries. "ASHLEY LIKES MEAT! ASHLEY WILL YOU BE MY GIRL!" Ashley made a disgusted sound. "ASHLEY DO I MAKE YOU HURL? CUZ THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DRINK TOO MUCH AND I THINK OF YOU."  
"I will never," Ashley said, shaking with anger. "EVER." She walked forward. "EVER, be your girl."  
Bret dropped his guitar, and it fell to the floor with a thunk. Paige clasped a hand over her mouth.  
"I hate you," he said. He grabbed Ashley, and started shaking her. Ashley slapped him across the cheek, as Craig ran forward to stop Bret.  
Bret grabbed Paige, and pulled her into the kitchen, where he got a knife and held it to her neck.  
Ashley ran into her parent's bedroom, looking for something to scare Bret. She saw a gun. She ran into the family room, watching as Paige kicked Bret and he easily dropped the knife.  
"You are way too drunk to even hold a knife, " she said. Craig turned around and looked at Ashley.  
The hand that held her gun was shaking so much the bullets rattling around made noise. Ashley put the gun softly on the ground.  
"It's okay Bret," said Ashley. "We know how people get drunk and do stupid things. That's why I hate people who drink."  
"Me too," said Craig, standing strongly next to Ashley. Paige was white, and too shaken to do anything.  
Monkey sauntered into the room, attracted by the noise.  
"SHUT UP!" Bret yelled. He started to cry. "Just shut up," he said, sobbing into his own hands.  
Paige was about to go forward when a large BANG echoed throughout the apartment.  
Monkey had set off the gun on the floor, thinking it was a foot to play with.  
Bret was shot in the stomach.  
Ashley's dream had come true. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
There was a few seconds of silence, and then Ashley looked down at Monkey.  
"Did you really set that off?" she said, proud and amazed at the same time.  
"Wow," said Craig. "What a smart cat."  
"HELLO!" Bret screamed. "Does anyone care that I was just shot?"  
Everyone looked at him, and Paige walked over to the phone and dialed 9- 1-1.  
"It doesn't really hurt, actually," Brett continued. "I think it only passed through a little bit of my bit of my side."  
And with that, he fainted to the floor. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The ambulance came and eventually picked Bret up, the policemen telling Ashley that  
  
they would call her about Bret's condition in a few hours.  
  
Ashley sighed, picking up Monkey and giving her a big kiss on the head. "  
You're such a good girl, Monkey... yes you are... yes yes yes..." she cooed. Craig was in the kitchen making tea, and Paige sat down next to Ashley. Setting her cat down, Ashley looked at her friend.  
  
"Do you want to stay here tonight, Paige?" she asked, placing her hand on her shoulder. Paige shook her head,  
"That's really kind of you... but I should probably go home. My mom will be worried sick."  
  
"I can call her and tell her that you're spending the night..." Ashley offered.  
  
"No, that's okay... really. I'll probably be better off going home." Ashley nodded.  
"Are you going to tell your mom?" Paige sighed.  
"I don't know... I'm just really confused right now... I just hope that Elijah won't act like everything is really different, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, I understand. I'll call you a cab, okay?" Paige nodded.  
"Thank you so much for being here for me, Ashley."  
  
Ashley smiled and hugged her friend. "No problem. If you need to talk tonight, call me. I'll be here."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Once Ashley had seen Paige off, she came back inside and lay on the couch, rubbing her  
  
forehead. Craig looked at her with concern, sitting in a chair across from her.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah... I guess... I don't know what to do about my parents." Craig nodded and got up to sit on the couch beside her.  
  
"I could go and stay at a hotel. I don't want your parents to be angry with you." Ashley shook her head.  
  
"No. I want you to stay. I don't care what they think... they can go stay at a hotel  
  
until they get over the fact that you're going to stay here." Craig looked skeptical.  
  
"Are you sure about this?" he asked, placing his hand on her knee and squeezing it  
  
gently.  
  
"More sure than I have been about anything in a long time." He smiled and kissed Ashley gently. She looked at him sleepily and smiled.  
  
"It's been a long day... we should get to bed." She heard Craig whisper. To tired to  
  
protest, she nodded and drifted off.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige got home safely, tiptoeing into her house. Thankfully her mother wasn't awake.  
  
She took off her coat and and walked over to her phone. She dialed Kate's number.  
  
"Hello?" Kate answered, giggling as the dart Mike through landing in the middle of  
  
Avril's forehead. They had drawn a mustache and goatee on her with a Sharpie.  
  
"Kate."  
  
"Paige, is it you?" Kate became serious, and Mike looked over at her, his dart landing  
  
on the floor.  
"Yeah... I have something to tell you."  
  
"What is it?" Kate frowned, expecting the worst.  
  
"Elijah and I... we had sex." Kate's jaw dropped, and she hissed  
"You had SEX with him?" Mike's jaw dropped. "Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah... I'm fine... just worried about whether or not I made the right decision..."  
  
"Do you think you did?" Kate asked, still shocked.  
  
"I don't know... I really love him, and I would do anything for him... and I know he  
  
would do the same for me..."  
  
"Then you made the right choice, Paige." Kate said.  
  
"That's what Ashley said too."  
  
"Well," said Kate grinning. "We're always right. So you have nothing to worry about." Paige laughed, she felt a little better already.  
  
"Oh yeah... and Bret got shot." she added as an afterthought. She could hear Kate laughing on the other line.  
  
"Bastard." Kate said, still giggling. "He finally got what he deserved. Maybe that  
  
knocked some sense into him."  
  
"I should probably go now," said Paige, looking at her watch. "I'll call you tomorrow,  
  
okay?"  
  
"Sure. Call me sooner if you need to."  
  
"Thanks... bye." Paige hung up. She sighed and trudged up the stairs to her room. Tomorrow she would have to face Elijah... and if she could muster up the courage... her mom.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The effects of the alcohol hadn't totally worn off Bret as he sat quietly on his bed in  
  
the hospital. He vaguely remembered what had happened that night, just that he was  
  
really drunk and had a splitting pain in his side where he had supposedly "been shot by  
  
a cat".  
  
"Man, what a spacey dream," Bret said to himself as he closed his eyes. He opened them again only to find that he was still in the hospital room, on a very uncomfortable  
  
hospital bed, and that he had an IV hooked up to his arm. He groaned. His life sucked.  
  
No, it really sucked. He had been rejected by everyone that he liked, and he was drunk  
  
and in pain. It was all his fault, he supposed for ending up here, in the hospital. The  
  
only good part of it, Bret saw, was that every hour one of the nurses would come in and  
  
give him a small supply of morphine for the pain, which made him feel giddy and happy  
  
for several seconds. But then all that happiness would go away.  
  
His vision was a bit blurry and his mind clouded from the alcohol and pain and morphine  
  
and he scowled as a doctor came in to re-access his condition.  
  
It was a tall male doctor with a white lab coat and a notepad, with glasses. Everybody  
  
who Bret met seemed to have glasses.  
  
"Mr. McKenzie?" the doctor asked, looking at him through his square spectacles.  
  
Bret glared.  
"It's Figwit."  
  
"Right..." said the doctor, giving him an odd look and scrolling something down on the paper. "Could you tell me a little bit about what happened tonight? How you got that wound, mayhap?" Bret grinned goofily and shrugged.  
"Dunno. Someone told me I was shot by a cat." The doctor's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, and he scrolled something else down.  
  
"Can I have some more morphine?" Bret asked.  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
"Uh... yeah..." Bret lied.  
  
"Are you lying to me, Mr. McKenzie?"  
  
"No..." said Bret drunkenly. "And my name is FIGWIT." The doctor rolled his eyes.  
  
"I need some MORPHINE GOD DAMMIT!!" he screamed, thrashing about on the bed angrily. A nurse rushed in with a needle and shot something into Bret's arm.  
  
He fell over, fast asleep.  
  
"Thank god," said the doctor.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige couldn't sleep. She just couldn't. Her mind was buzzing with way too many thoughts, and she needed something to do. She called up the hospital.  
"Hello?" said an impatient woman on the other end.  
"Hi," Paige said pleasantly. "Could you connect me to Bret McKenzie's room?"  
"Fine," snapped the woman, and instantly Paige heard the cheesy musak as she was put on hold.  
"Hello," said a groggy Bret.  
"Hey," Paige said softly.  
"Who's this?" asked Bret, suddenly a lot more attentive.  
"It's Paige."  
"Oh, hey," said Bret, a little more nicely.  
"How are you?" asked Paige worriedly.  
"I'm in not that much pain.. but I don't remember much.." Bret said sadly.  
"Ashley's cat shot you after she put down the gun she was threatening you with because you had grabbed me and put a knife to my neck after we tried to stop you from playing a song you wrote to Ashley," Paige said in one breath.  
"Oh," said Bret. "Then I guess I do remember everything." Paige laughed.  
"Are you... okay?" She said sympathetically.  
"Yes," said Bret. "I think I am going home though."  
"No," said Paige, starting to cry. Bret let out a sound of surprise.  
"What's the matter?" he said, propping himself up on a pillow. Paige clutched the phone closer to herself.  
"I... don't know," Paige started crying. "I really don't know."  
"Does this have to do with Elijah?" asked Bret cautiously.  
"Yes," Paige sobbed. "Yes it does."  
"Do you want to talk to me about it?" asked Bret.  
"You're hardly in the position to help me," said Paige softly. Bret laughed.  
"I like you, you're nice," Bret said, a smile in his voice. "You've never kicked or yelled at me."  
"I'm not into yelling or kicking," said Paige in between tears.  
"That makes two of us.." Bret said trailing off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Elijah was the happiest he had ever been in the whole wide world. He was in love.  
He had just had sex with the girl he loved.  
AND SHE LOVED HIM TOO!  
He danced around the apartment in the morning, as he got dressed. He was going to see Paige.  
But before he could even call her, there came a knock at his door.  
"Hello?" Paige called.  
"HEY!" Elijah yelled, excited. He opened the door.  
It looked as though Paige had gotten no sleep, and her eyes seemed dimmed. She had mascara running down her face, and her clothes were not matching.  
"What happened?" said Elijah concerned. Paige collapsed into his arms.  
"I love you," she sobbed. "I love you, I love you, I love you."  
"And I love you too!" Elijah said, laughing.  
"I feel so fucked up," Paige said. Elijah looked at her.  
"Why?"  
"I... had sex with you," Paige said. "And now I've given you everything. I have no defenses. None at all." Elijah pulled her tight to him.  
"I will always take care of you. I will always take care of you." He repeated while stroking her hair. He pulled her into his bedroom, and shut the door to the hallway.  
"What if I get hurt?" she sobbed. "Something feels wrong about this, but I don't know what." Elijah looked at her.  
"I love you so much," he said. "I could scream." Paige's face finally lit up.  
"I'm not ready," she said, dawning on her.  
"WHAT?" said Elijah.  
"I'm not ready for us to be that intimate. I just got it," Paige said. Her face fell. "But, Elijah I love you so much that I can't even think about life without kissing you." Elijah remained silent.  
"Your not ready... for what?" Elijah said, angrily. "You were just as willing as I was last night." Paige looked shocked.  
"No, no... t-that's not what I MEAN!" she said, stammering. "I'm not ready to be moving this fast with love and everything..."  
"So what, you think that I'm just... a womanizer? I was just using you? I feel in love, Paige," she cringed at her name; he had never said it before in a sentence.  
"I know you love me, and I love you, but something doesn't feel right here!"  
"Get out," said Elijah.  
"W-what?"  
"I can't even look at you anymore."  
"What?" Paige said, her voice rising. "I took a risk with you! I could have gotten pregnant! What we did was illegal, and I was vulnerable.. BUT I WANTED TO DO IT CAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Paige screamed.  
"GET OUT!" Elijah yelled.  
Paige fell into the door, and stumbled down the hallway. She was going to find Bret. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret looked up when he heard a knock at the door.  
"Help me!" Paige screamed, and she fell into Bret.  
"Oh god," he said, stroking her hair.  
Paige looked up at him with gleaming eyes.  
He couldn't help himself, and he leaned down to kiss her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elijah laid back down on the bed and lay his head in his hands. Bastard, he told himself. You selfish bastard.  
  
He crudely wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face in attempt to conceal what he knew could not be washed away. He had scared away the woman he loved for no good reason before, and he had done it again. He had yelled and screamed at Paige for her telling him the truth about the way she felt. She was young, and had probably never been that intimate with someone before, of course she was bound to feel that way. It was only natural, but Elijah had blamed her. She would not come back to him this time... this was the final straw. He was tore inside, he had frightened away the only  
  
woman he had felt this way about before, and there was no way of fixing it.  
  
Or so he thought.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige's eyes widened as Bret pressed his lips to hers. She let her eyes flutter shut  
  
momentarily, but then she was brought back to reality. This was not Elijah she was  
  
kissing, it was Bret. The drunken Bret who had pulled a knife on her last night. The  
  
Bret who would constantly pine for people he knew he could not have. And she would not give him the benefit of the doubt, wounded or not. She pushed herself away from him. Bret looked startled.  
  
"What?" he asked, looking confused.  
  
"You desperate son of a bitch!" she cried, slapping him hard across the cheek. She ran from the room, slamming the door behind her. Great... thought Bret. What is wrong with you, mate? You seem to be scaring everyone away. That's Elijah's girl you're messing with; your best friend's girlfriend.  
  
Bret regretted what he had done. He must've been the worst friend in the world. There was a knock at the door.  
  
"Come in," Bret called, his eyes narrowing at the door. A scraggly figure stepped in, holding a bright bouquet of flowers, which contrasted sharply with the dark clothes.  
  
"Er... Ben? They told me you got shot." Bret smiled at Bob as he pulled a chair up next to the bed.  
  
"Er... here, Bill. I brought you some flowers to make you feel better." Bob said, awkwardly laying them on Bret's chest. Bret picked up the small bouquet and took a whiff of the flowers... sure enough, they smelled like beer.  
  
"Thanks, Bob. You don't know how much this means to me."  
  
"You're not... uh... gay, are you, Boris?" Bob asked, looking slightly nervous. Bret's eyebrows shot up.  
  
"Gay? Me? No..." Bret started. "I happen to be the straightest guy in Wellington... thank you VERY MUCH."  
  
"Chill out, Barry, dude. And what's 'Wellingtown'?" Bob was mystified.  
  
"It's a city in New Zealand. Where I'm from." Bob stared at Bret's nose.  
  
"Have you ever heard of New Zealand, before, Bob?" Bob continued to stare blankly.  
  
"I've heard of New Orleans, before," he said smugly. Bret shook his head and smiled.  
"I don't think I'll even bother." Bob looked around the room and his eyes fell upon the bandage about Bret's stomach.  
  
"What did they do to you, Basil?" Bob asked, intoxicatedly concerned. Bret looked down.  
  
"Oh that..." he said casually. "I got shot by a cat."  
  
That was weird for even Bob, who had been knocked out by a squirrel last week.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley woke up the next morning to see Craig lying next to her. This was most unusual, and strange.  
"Craig," Ashley started, as she saw him stirring. "Are you alright?"  
"Yes," he said, smiling.  
"Did we.." Ashley started.  
"No," said Craig.  
Ashley smiled.  
She heard a tingle on her laptop, and knew that someone was IMing her. FrodoLives2008 [4:29 PM]: ASHLEY!  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:29 PM]: Yeah?  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:29 PM]: Hello!  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:29 PM]: Elijah and I like just broke up.  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:29 PM]: Bret tried to kiss me.  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:29 PM]: WHAT?  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:30 PM]: This is so fucked up, and like.. I told Elijah how I felt, and I think he felt betrayed or something, and he was like," get out I don't want to see you anymore" and then I went to Bret, and he was in the hospital, and he tried to kiss me, and I slapped him.  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:30 PM]: WOAH!  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:30 PM]: Elijah and Bret are mad.  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:30 PM]: What?  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:30 PM]: oh you mean insane  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:30 PM]: Yeah, they are insane.. . haldir lives1989 [4:48 PM]: Elijah probably was just taken aback and surprised, and Bret.. Bret is just a loser   
  
haldir lives1989 [4:48 PM]: We need to kill them both  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:49 PM]: I agree  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:49 PM]: I am feeling so depressed  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:49 PM]: Look, don't worry about how stupid they are acting- worry about how you feel. I'm going to call Elijah, and knock some sense into him, okay!  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:49 PM]: ARGH!  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:49 PM]: I was like resisting Bret, but at first I let him kiss me  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:50 PM]: For how long?  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:50 PM]: Like 3 seconds  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:50 PM]: 2 seconds  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:51 PM]: 1 second  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:51 PM]: OH GOD WHO KNOWS?!?!!?!  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:52 PM]: Don't worry about it, you resisted.  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:52 PM]: Do you still love Elijah?  
  
FrodoLives2008 [4:53 PM]: Yes  
  
haldir lives1989 [4:53 PM]: Then let me call him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kate was sitting with Mike on the stairs to her basement. He looked at her.  
"To tell you the truth, I sorta came to D.C. just to see you." Mike said. Kate smiled broadly.  
"That's really cool," said Kate, laughing. They shared a glance, where Kate got a little glimpse into what he was thinking. He seemed pretty into her. Kate shook herself into normalcy.  
"Hey, do you wanna hear me play my guitar!" she said, ruining the moment on purpose.  
Mike got up as Kate pulled him down the stairs, shaking his head.  
Boy was she weird, he thought. But just what I needed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley closed the computer and rolled back on the bed next to Craig. She sighed,  
  
resting her head in the crook of his neck. She groaned. He leaned on his elbows and  
  
looked at her.  
  
"You really need to tell me what's wrong this time. I can't keep guessing." He smiled  
  
at her. She groaned again in response, stuffing her head in her pillow.  
  
"Mmmph." came a muffled response. She got up, and looked at Craig. Her face was serious.  
  
"I have to tell you something... it's about Paige and Elijah."  
  
Elijah was not good. He kept on staring at the wall, hoping that someone would shoot him. He was incredibly depressed.  
He picked up the phone, and dialed Paige's number.  
"Hello?" said Paige.  
"Hey," Elijah said, voice cracking.  
"Hi," said Paige, softly.  
"Paige, my god, what a horrible person I am... in the past two days, what have I done to you?"  
"Broken my heart," said Paige. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Kate, can I ask you something?" Mike said, voice high speaking over Kate's amp.  
"What?" she said with enthusiasm.  
"Do you like me?" Kate blinked. "I mean, I've tried to do all these nice things for you, and give you hints, but it's like..."  
"What?" said Kate.  
"You are purposefully trying to sabotage my feelings." Kate stared blankly ahead.  
"Well, we can admit we like each other and get all mushy, or we can actually just have fun being happy together." Kate said blandly.  
"I'm not happy," said Mike, "unless I know you like me."  
Kate stared ahead.  
"DO you like me?" said Mike, getting a bit irritated.  
"I hardly know you," said Kate blushing.  
"You're sending me mixed signals," said Mike.  
"Mhm." said Kate.  
"Jesus," said Mike. "I'm going to get a soda. When you are ready to admit your feelings, just let me know." He slammed the door to the basement, and opened the refrigerator, hoping it would cool him off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`   
Paige signed on to AIM. Ashley was online, too. She needed to tell her that she had  
  
called Elijah, and that there was no need for her to call him.  
  
FrodoLives2008 [8:16 PM]: Hey Ashley  
  
haldir lives1989 [8:19 PM]: Hey Paige, what's up?  
  
FrodoLives2008 [8:19 PM]: I called Elijah so u don't need to do it  
  
FrodoLives2008 [8:19 PM]: and he said he was sorry...  
  
haldir lives1989 [8:20 PM]: What a bastard. He should be sorry. What did you say to  
  
him?  
  
FrodoLives2008 [8:21 PM]: I told him he broke my heart and hung up.  
  
haldir lives [8:21 PM]: God... what are you going to do, now?  
  
FrodoLives2008 [8:22 PM]: I don't know  
  
haldir lives1989 [8:22 PM]: Listen Paige, I'm always here for you and will support any  
  
decision that you make as long as you don't put yourself in danger.  
  
FrodoLives2008 [8:24 PM]: Thanks  
  
haldir lives1989 [8:25 PM]: No problem. Listen, I g2g, Craig and I are going to go  
  
ice-skating. lol He said he wanted to do something fun... do you want to come? We could  
  
talk  
  
FrodoLives2008 [8:26 PM]: No, that's okay. Thanks for the offer. There's something I  
  
need to do.  
  
haldir lives1989 [8:27 PM]: Okay... call me on my cell if you need to. Love u  
  
FrodoLives2008 [8:28 PM]: U too  
  
haldir lives1989 signed off at 8:28 PM  
  
Paige signed off AIM at her computer and looked at the screen blankly. There was  
  
something she had to do. She just didn't know what.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate sighed and picked up her guitar. She really liked Mike, but she couldn't just say  
  
that, not really knowing him that well and all. Maybe she should have just said that  
  
she liked him so that he wouldn't get mad. Nah, she thought.  
  
She had observed everyone else's relationships and saw a pattern. It went a little  
  
something like this:  
  
1. Girlfriend says "no" to one thing or another  
  
2. Boyfriend gets ticked.  
  
3. Girlfriend and boyfriend ignore each other  
  
4. Boyfriend gradually begins to realize that it was his fault in the first place  
  
5. Boyfriend apologizes  
  
6. Everyone makes up and is happy.  
  
7. Boyfriend screws up again  
  
8. Cycle repeats  
  
Simple, thought Kate. She sat on the bottom of the stairs looking at her guitar. Hearing the door slowly open above her, she turned around. Mike stood in the doorway holding a can of Root Beer. He frowned.  
"Hey Kate... I'm really sorry about what I said earlier." Kate smiled.  
"S'okay."  
  
Her theory was correct. Duh.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige looked around aimlessly. There was nothing for her to do but talk to Kate.  
There came a knock at her door.  
Paige looked through the peephole, and saw it was Elijah. She sighed, and opened the door. She saw Elijah had a boom box, and heard it play her favorite Blink-182 song, "Always." Elijah was dancing along to the words.  
I've been here/before/a few times/ and I'm quite/aware/we're dying/ and you're hands/they shake/with goodbyes/let's start this again/for real/ so here I am/I'm trying/so here I am/ are you ready- c'mon let me hold you touch you feel you always/ kiss you taste you all night always/ (Elijah started doing the punk bunny hop at the bridge) I'll admit I'm wrong/ if you tell me/ I'm so sick of fights/ I hate them/ Let's start this/again/for real/so here I am/ I'm trying/ so here I am/ are you ready/ c'mon let me hold you touch you feel you always/ kiss you taste you all night always. Elijah hit the stop button. There was a few moments' pause, and then-  
Paige leapt into his arms and kissed him.  
"I knew that song would do the trick," Elijah said laughing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kate was looking at Mike as he walked slowly down the stairs  
"I really want us, to- you know, uhh," Mike started.  
"Yeah, uhh, I know you do, but uhh," Kate said.  
"Uhh, there's a lot we have to lean about um each other," Mike stumbled.  
"And there's so much uhh expectancy for you to be uhh with someone famous," Kate stumbled.  
Mike grabbed Kate and kissed her. Hard.  
At first, Kate had no earthly clue what to do, and her eyes were swimming in and out of focus looking at his nose. It was a really bad kiss.  
"Wait," said Mike. He smoothed out Kate's hair behind her ears. Then looked into her eyes, and kissed her again.  
This time, it was better.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley looked at the wall and smiled. Craig came over fast and tickled her.  
"Stop it," Ashley moaned in between laughs. Craig spun her around and kissed her. It was passionate, and seemed to make both of them float into her bedroom. Without realizing it.  
They were gonna do something. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Binky," said Bob. "I like you." He grabbed Bret and laid a bit wet one on his cheek.  
"Dude, gerroff," Bret yelled. Bob sauntered away, smelling like alcohol. The nurse came and screamed.  
"FIGWIT!" she called happily.  
Bret smiled. At least someone knew him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret wiped the slobber off his cheek with the back of his paper hospital gown sleeve.  
  
"Gross..." The nurse ran over to him. There was something strange about this nurse. Something was wrong with her voice...  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah... I've been molested by drunk guys before." The nurse gave him an odd look.  
  
"Wow... you're Figwit..." Bret nodded and smiled proudly. Wait, what was he proud about?  
  
She put her hand on his arm and stroked it with her long bright red nails. Her lips  
  
were unnaturally red as well... her hair almost yellow, and he could detect a faint  
  
trace of a beard on her cheeks.  
  
"Uhh..." said Bret nervously.  
  
"You don't know how long I've wanted you, Figwit..." she whispered in his ear. Bret shivered.  
  
"Uh... umm..." he said. He was becoming slightly nervous. "Oy?" he squeaked. The nurse laughed in his ear. It was a masculine ringing sound that scared the crap out  
  
of him.  
  
"You're so cute." The nurse said, sounding more and more manly by the second. Bret's jaw dropped as the nurse began to roll "her" stockings her hairy leg.  
  
Bret covered his eyes and let out a blood-curdling scream.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Kate was taken aback. Mike tried to tongue kiss her, but Kate put a stop to it.  
"Whoa, whoa, partner," she said, laughing inside at herself. Mike softly disengaged.  
"That was nice," said Kate.  
"Can I kiss you again?" asked Mike happily, raising his eyebrows.  
"Sure," said Kate, laughing.  
So they kissed for a while. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Paige on the other hand, was kissing Elijah like there was no tomorrow. They were kissing and kissing and kissing until Paige finally realized she had something to tell him.  
"Bret tried to kiss me yesterday," she said, trying to look innocent.  
"WHAT?" said Elijah, face turning red.   
"Well, umm," Paige stuttered. "I went to go see him to see how he felt, and then he like kissed me."  
"Did you kiss him back?" asked Elijah. Paige hesitated. "YOU DID?!" Elijah said, exasperated.  
"No!" Paige exclaimed. "I was taken aback for a moment by him kissing me, then I slapped him." Paige said, waiting for Elijah's response.  
"That's my girl," he said proudly. "Give Bret what's coming to," he smiled.  
"Can we get back to that kissing we were doing earlier?" she asked with a smile.  
"Actually," he said, benevolently. "I have something to give you."  
"Oh," said Paige, laughing. "What is it?" Elijah pulled out a small box from his pocket.  
It was a ring box. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Craig and Ashley were in her bedroom, and they had no idea how they had ended up there.  
"Whoa," said Craig, when he finally realized his surroundings.  
"Whoa," said Ashley. They shared a glance.  
"Umm," said Ashley.  
"Err," said Craig.  
"Let's go back into the living room, and watch Mercy Peak?" Ashley suggested feebly.  
"Sure," said Craig, downtrodden and disappointed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret pushed his button to call the nurses many, many times. He was sweating profusely, and tried screaming out but his head hurt.  
"I have something for you," the nurse said, bowing his head up and down like he was sucking a lollipop. He touched Bret's leg, and Bret shuddered. Adjusting his collar (that he found to his dismay was not there), Bret mustered up the strength to do what he had to do. The nurse looked under the covers.  
"Mazel-Tov!" he said, looking at Bret's unmasked wonker. Bret found himself surprised that he was wearing no clothes.  
"Where are my clothes?" he asked in hysterics.  
"I took them off while you were sleeping," said the nurse, giggling strangely. He leaned down, going southwards, when Bret kicked him square in the nose. Blood came gushing out of the nurse's nose, and seemingly his front tooth was knocked out too.  
Bret smiled, and pushed himself up higher in his chair.  
The other nurses heard the transvestite nurse's screams, and came in. They all exchanged a glance, and sighed.  
"Don't mind him," said once nurse smartly. "He always hits on the male patients."  
"C'mon Doreen," cooed another nurse, putting him on the back. "We'll take you to ER."  
"We only humor him so that he won't go insane," said the first nurse, whispering. "He just lost his lover."  
Bret nodded, a look of utter confusion on his face. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Wow..." said Kate when they finished making out.  
  
"Wow..." said Mike.  
  
Kate sighed. The last guy who had tried kissing her had his nose broken, and went into  
  
a coma for about a week. She really liked Mike. And she had really liked him for a long  
  
time. What to do now? Kate thought as she watched Mike stare at the TV smiling. She  
  
looked at her watch. It was almost eight. and it was Wednesday.  
  
"Hey," she said, Mike snapped out of his daze.  
  
"Ever seen American Idol?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Okay.. Thought Bret. This has got to be the WORST vacation in the history of vacations. He had just been molested by a drag queen, who was going to do who know's what to his um. friend down there. He remembered the last time a guy tried to make a move on him was during the filming of Return of the King.  
  
His name was Ax and he was the elf extra who walked behind him in the one scene he was in. He remembers Peter saying to wrap it up, and then he was pulled behind a tree and almost raped. He now feared all men with long blond hair who called him "Sex Fig". He was traumatized.  
  
Paige stared at Elijah with very big eyes.  
"Is this," Paige started, out of breath, "what I think it is?"  
"You'll see," Elijah said with a grin. Paige took the small box from his hand, and opened it. The ring inside did not have a diamond. Rather, it had the words, "I promise to you..." scrolling around it. Paige looked at Elijah quizzically.  
"What is this?" she said, trying to act nice.  
"It's a promise ring," said Elijah proudly. Then, to the look on Paige's face, "It means that I promise to be there for you, never cheat on you, and when you turn 18," he took a breath. "Marry you, if you like." Paige smiled. She hugged Elijah close to her.  
"Thank you," she said, happy that it was only a promise ring, and not an engagement ring. That would make her happy until she was ready for one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Craig looked sorrowfully at Ashley. This was not going very well.  
She was beating him very badly at the fighting video game they were playing, and he was pissed.  
"Damn it!" he said loudly, when the screen burned red with "K.O.! GAME OVER!" Ashley looked over at him sympathetically.  
"Hey," she said, softly. "I love you." Craig smiled.  
"Um, can I share something with you?" he asked, eyes alight. Ashley contemplated for a moment, then said,  
"Uhh, sure." Craig pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and read to her,  
"Your eyes seem to ask me to dance, but your smile seems to say I want more.  
Your body seems to want to prance, but your heart seems to thump when I do more.  
Your words seem to ask me only to go so far, but your touch tells me to go further.  
I crawl and scream when you touch me, you give me so much. I want to give you some back."  
There was a pause.  
"Did you like my poem?" said Craig.  
"Y-yes!" said Ashley. So that's what that was, she said. A poem.  
"Do you," Craig smiled playfully, "know what I want?"  
"Umm... no?" said Ashley, hesitant. Craig leaned in, and whispered,  
"I want to go all the way with you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In Kate's living room, bursts of laughter could be heard above the blaring television.  
  
"Oh god," Mike laughed, clutching his side. "That scooter lady was so STUPID!!"  
  
"I know!" cried Kate, continuing to watch singer after singer give their all.  
  
Mike turned to look at Kate, his face becoming solemn.  
  
"You know," he started. "I'm really enjoying the time we're spending together.  
  
Kate blushed as Mike continued.  
  
"I'm starting to not want to go back to." he paused. Shit, he had forgotten where he  
  
lived. "That place." He smiled as he thought he saved that sentence.  
  
"Wow. Mike, I don't know what to say."  
  
" I don't know if I want to go back and continue singing with Linkin Park. I want to  
  
stay here with you."  
  
Kate's jaw dropped.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret had to find some clothes. He desperately looked around the room for his clothes.  
  
They weren't there. What if Doreen came back and did things to him. and what if there  
  
was no one to save him?  
  
He shuddered. He had to get out of here. now.  
  
Shakily standing up he began to walk towards the door. It was cold. He looked down.  
  
Damn, he didn't have clothes on. He grabbed the blanket from the bed and wrapped it  
  
around himself. He was going to get out of here and as far away from Doreen as  
  
possible.  
  
Kate took Mike's hand. She wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to do, but she pulled him outside to the back of her house. She got out two bikes.  
"I don't want you to leave Linkin Park for me," she said smiling. "But I do want you." Mike smiled.  
"Finally," he yelled, triumphant. "I get you to admit it!" Kate blushed.  
"Do you want to take a bike ride?" she asked.  
"Yes," he replied. "I love bike riding."  
"Paige told me about this totally awesome riding trail." Kate mounted her bike, and sped off. Mike looked at his bike, and grimaced. It had pink streamers.  
Nonetheless, the two of them set off peddling as fast as they could, and worked up a sweat. They reached a bridge, with a stream going underneath it. As Paige had instructed, Kate parked her bike and told Mike to do the same. They walked and scuttled over some slippery rocks to where the stream reached a nice, dry plateau. "Take your special someone there," said Paige, "and it's a perfect place to make out."  
Kate looked into Mike's eyes. Mike looked into her eyes. He tilted her chin up to face him, and slowly pressed his lips against her. It was a sweet, but not sappy, kiss. Kate opened her mouth, and opened her heart.  
"GET OUT OF MY SEAT!" yelled a running hobo. Kate sprang to her feet instinctively at the sound of the noise, knocking Mike into the freezing cold water.  
"Mike, I'm sorry," yelled Kate, putting her hands up in case the hobo tried to attack them. Mike shook himself off, and repeated Kate's motions.  
The hobo ran over, and Kate punched him hard on the nose, knocking him into the stream. He was out cold.  
"Glad I could help," said Mike sheepishly. Kate smiled.  
"Let's get out of here!" yelled Kate.  
The two of them peddled away, laughing, into the sunset. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Elijah had left Paige's house feeling giddy and high off of love. But now he was angry at Bret. And perfect for him, he had an opportunity to get him back.  
Elijah's cell phone rang, and he saw it was Bret calling. Elijah sighed, and tried to calm himself.  
"Hello?" he said as normally as possible.  
"Hey," said Bret.  
"What's going on?" asked Elijah. "Paige told me you got shot by a cat."  
"Yeah," said Bret, embarrassed. "Look, the real reason I called was to ask if you could bring me some clothes."  
"Sure," said Elijah, cracking his knuckles. "At what hospital are you?"  
"Georgetown University," said Brett. Elijah took down the address and smiled evilly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Thank god, mate!" Bret said smiling at the sight of Elijah carrying a brown paper bag.  
"You're welcome," said Elijah smiling. "I have to go, actually," he said, lying.  
"Aww, that sucks," said Bret. "I really need some company."  
"I'm sorry, I got to go."  
"Right, well I'll call you from New Zealand, then." said Bret, nonchalantly.  
"What?" cried Elijah.  
"Well, you see, this vacation has sucked for me, so I'm going home."  
"Oh," said Elijah. "Oh."  
He walked over to Bret and gave him a hug.  
"I'll call you when I get home," he said.  
"Right," said Elijah, who waved. He cursed himself as he walked down the hallway. Hopefully something about his plan would work. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret slipped on the jeans that Elijah had provided.  
They were too tight.  
"DAMN!" Bret said aloud, realizing that his jockey's were hanging out of the fly. Oh well, he thought. The shirt is big enough to conceal it.  
Indeed it was, and Bret shouldered his bags and stepped outside the room. He failed to realize that on the back was written, "I am gay, but I kissed my best friend's girlfriend."  
A nurse walking by noticed that his jockey was sticking out of his flap. "Oh dear," she said, tutting. "Bret, you need to come here. Your pants don't fit."  
"Oh, I know," he said, trying to tuck his shirt down. The nurse noticed the back of his shirt. She was about to say, "oh my," when Doreen ran up behind him and gave him a big hug.  
"I knew it!" he cried. "Your shirt only confirms everything I wanted."  
"WHAT?" cried Bret. He flung himself around, and punched Doreen in the nose again. Doreen pulled down Bret's pants.  
Unfortunately, he also pulled down Bret's jockeys.  
The nurse in the hallway screamed, and saw Bret push Doreen to the ground and pulverize him. She ran into the supply room, and grabbed a needle full of tranquilizer. She jabbed it into Bret's arm.  
"You'll be going to St. Elizabeth's in Maryland," Bret heard the nurse say as he feel sleepy. "You're mentally ill, and they can help you."  
He was asleep as the EMT's trucked him off to the "hospital." The men in white coats tutted at his report of public nudity, violence, assault, and uncontrollable anger about shirts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige couldn't contain her happiness as Elijah drove her to Galileo, a fancy Italian  
  
restaurant down in D.C. Like always she couldn't seem to keep her eyes off him. He  
  
intrigued her beyond all belief.  
  
The Cooper turned down 21st Street and parked in front of the restaurant, Elijah  
  
handing the keys to a short little butler-like man, who muttered something in Italian  
  
as he got into the front seat to go park the car.  
  
"This is amazing," Paige said as Elijah hooked her arm with his, walking down the  
  
maroon-carpeted walkway, chandeliers passing above their heads.  
  
"And it's all for you," Elijah whispered as he led her into a ballroom, with men  
  
and women in elegant dresses and suits waltzing. They were led by a waiter whose name  
  
was "Luigi" (The gold nameplate on his vest said so). He seated them at a table away  
  
from the others, and poured them each a glass of wine. Lifting up the glass, Elijah  
  
looked into Paige's eyes.  
  
"A toast," he said. "To love."  
  
"To love," repeated Paige.  
  
They took a sip from their glasses and Elijah stood up. He extended his hand out to  
  
Paige.  
  
"Care to dance, milady?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mike and Kate rode back to Kate's house, it was getting dark, and Kate didn't want  
  
any more hobos attacking them.  
  
Dismounting their bikes, they ran inside, only to have the phone ring. A strange number  
  
was on the Caller ID.  
  
Kate picked up the phone while Mike took off his helmet and put it in the closet.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Ms. Kate, I presume?" came a reply on the other end.  
  
"Yes... who's this?"  
  
"This is Dr. Somerville over at St. Elizabeth's. Are you Bret McKenzie's  
  
caretaker?" Kate looked at Mike and gave him an odd look.  
"No, he's old enough to be my dad... Why the hell are you talking to me about him?"  
  
"He gave us your name. We needed to contact someone he knew so that we could  
  
inform them of his condition." Kate rolled her eyes.  
  
"What's wrong with him now?"  
  
"He's under extensive mental care at the moment."  
  
"Good," laughed Kate. "He's needed that for a long time."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yup." said Kate. "He's a bit of a drinker, too. If you know what I mean."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you Ms. Kate."  
  
"Sure thang." Kate hung up and smiled at Mike.  
  
"What's up?" he asked.  
  
"Bret's in a mental asylum. That's all."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley looked at Craig and scrunched up her eyes.  
"I'm really not ready to go all the way." Craig sighed.  
"Oh, Ashley," he sighed. "This is not working."  
"W-what?" she stuttered.  
"I need to be involved with an adult," he said, frustrated. "You know, an adult? They don't have parents who are constantly bothering them, they are willing to have sex, and they can drink alcohol and go places together."  
"Craig, I..." Ashley said, but it was too late. Craig had walked out the door. He turned around, and said,  
"I'm going to a hotel. When you are ready to be mature, let me know."  
Ashley plopped down on the couch. Why did she and Craig have to have such problems? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Paige took Elijah's arm and gracefully walked to the center of the dance floor. The band was playing an enchanting melody that Paige couldn't help humming.  
"You have a lovely voice," said Elijah, cocking his head to the side to listen to her. Paige blushed.  
"Not really, sometimes it gets pretty over the top." The band stopped playing.  
"Sing something for me while we dance," he whispered. "Something soft." Paige smiled as she leaned into Elijah, his hand on her waist and holding her hand, her hand holding his and the other placed on his shoulder. She leaned into him.  
"Some-day when I'm all alone... when the world is cold... I'll be there for you... just thinking of you... and the way you look tonight." Paige sung softly. Elijah stepped on her toe. "Ouch!" she exclaimed.  
"Sorry," mumbled Elijah. "But your voice..."  
"Yes?" said Paige eyes shining as they twirled around the room.  
"It's beautiful," said Elijah. "You know I have a record label, right?" Paige blushed and mumbled something like, "not good enough.."  
"Not good enough? Look, I can recognize talent when I see it."  
"I'm just your girlfriend, that's why you're doing this," Paige said modestly. Elijah looked her square in the eye.  
"No," he said beautifully. "You are talented, and that's rare... I wish I could hear you sing more... this isn't the right place..." he said looking around.  
"No," Paige said, putting her arm on his. "Let's dance."  
"Sing that song, and I'll dance with you," Elijah said. Paige laughed and started the verse again, dancing gracefully around the room with the most elegant man she had ever met.  
And that was rare.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley sat dumbstruck on the couch and stared at the wall. She loved Craig, and why had  
  
she let one stupid little thing get in the way again. She should have just said yes,  
  
but she didn't. Now she was going to have to go to a hotel and find him. She grabbed a  
  
gym bag from her closet and began to pack.  
  
Why am I so scared, Ashley asked herself. It was what she wanted, and she trusted  
  
Craig.   
  
She zipped the bag shut and walked back into the living room, where she called a cab.  
  
Craig couldn't be that far away. The nearest hotel was a Red Roof Inn about twenty  
  
minutes from her house. He was bound to be there. Besides, the car only had so much  
  
gas.  
  
She pet her cats' goodbye, and they seemed to look at her like "Whoa, dude... where are you going?"  
  
She took a breath, opened the door and stepped outside.  
  
Her heart skipped a beat. She dropped her bag.  
  
Craig was sitting on the front porch and his eyes were red with tears.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Mike looked at Kate with disbelief.  
  
"Bret's at a mental asylum?" Kate nodded.  
  
"Yup." she smiled.  
  
"Aren't you... concerned?" Kate shrugged.  
  
"I guess I would be if he didn't act like such a dick all the time." Mike laughed. Yeah, Bret seemed pretty odd, not to mention desperate.  
  
"So..." said Kate, looking around. "What do you want to do?"  
  
"Uhh..." said Mike. "Do you want to go out to eat or something." Kate nodded. She was starving. That hobo who had nearly mugged them had stolen the snacks she had packed on her bike.  
  
"Do you like Mexican?" Kate asked.  
  
"It's my favorite." Mike grinned. Kate smiled.  
"There's this place down in Silver Spring called 'Baja Fresh'? Wanna go  
  
there?" They ran out to Kate's parent's car, and got into the front seats. Kate had asked  
  
permission before hand about letting them use their keys. Of course, Kate's parents  
  
said "Yes", for Kate was a responsible young lady who would most definitely not get  
  
into trouble.  
  
Driving down the street, Kate looked over at Mike. "Do you like Good Charlotte?" she asked, taking her Good Charlotte CD out of her CD case.  
  
"They're kinda weird."   
  
"Right..." said Kate, putting her Good Charlotte CD under her seat.  
  
"Benji has got to be the strangest of them all." Kate laughed.  
"Have you met him too?" Mike nodding, shuddering.  
  
"He and I were roommates for a week. Then I decided to move out." Kate laughed again.   
"How come?"  
  
"Oh god, you should have seen what kind of food he prepared... I will never think of  
  
Chicken Cordon Bleu the same way again."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After a long period of dancing, Paige and Elijah went over to their seats again, and  
  
picked up their menus.  
  
Paige scanned her menu. Most of the food items were in Italian, and the only ones that  
  
she could decipher were the "Pizza" and the "Pasta" sections.  
  
"Um... Elijah?" she asked, looking over her menu at Elijah, who looked just as confused as her.  
  
"Yes?" he asked, his forehead scrunched up in thought.  
  
"I really want to get something fancy and elegant... but I kind of can't read Italian." Elijah nodded.  
"Neither can I. Do you want to just get a pizza or something to split. We can pretend it's fancy." Paige laughed.  
"Yes, let's just do that." Elijah looked over to the waiter. He waved his menu at him.  
  
Luigi curled up his mustache a bit more with the tips of his fingers and said,  
  
"Yeeees?"  
  
"Could we please have an order of the cheese pizza?" Elijah said, waiting for the  
  
waiter's reaction. Luigi raised his eyebrows and scowled in response.  
"The cheese pizza?" he said, snottily.  
  
"Made with only the finest ingredients possible. We shall accept nothing less. Now...  
  
shoo shoo." Elijah waved his hand at the waiter, handing him both of the menus.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret looked around the room he was in. It was round, and white, and covered with big  
  
white cushions. Bret glared, but found himself to be slightly dizzy with all of the brightness. They had put him into a straightjacket and now he sat there, on the cushy white floor, in a straight jacket and his jockeys. It wasn't his fault that Doreen tried to molest him. It wasn't his fault that he tried to resist his advances.  
  
He fell over on his side and sobbed into the white floor.  
  
A door closed behind him, he tried to get up, but without the use of his arms, it was  
  
impossible.  
  
"Why, hello there..." said a male voice behind him. He felt the other's gaze fall on  
  
his butt. Bret tried to turn around and look at the doctor, but was unable to. The doctor circled around to the front of Bret, and now he could finally see his face.  
  
"Sex Fig... we meet again." came the voice, and then a string of maniacal laughter.  
  
Bret's heart stopped beating as he heard those words uttered. He looked up and saw the  
  
face of one he never hoped to see again.  
  
Ax. *cue Psycho music*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate and Mike had a wonderful time playing their drinking game, called "shots." They were watching "Days of Our Lives", and every time someone slapped someone else, they took a shot of vodka. Kate was getting thoroughly drunk.  
  
"You!" she said, slurring her words. "You make me happier than any other guy," she said, eyes starting to close. Mike was nowhere near as drunk as she, and was quite amused by the fact that Kate was opening herself up to him. He took advantage of this.  
  
"Why is that?" he asked, smiling. Kate opened her eyes wider.  
  
"Because," she said, eyes the size of dinner plates. "I think that you are hot, and you're talented, and you are hot, and..." Kate started counting on her fingers. "You are hot, and you are rich, and you are in Linkin Park, and your quiet, and I don't think about punching you every time we kiss," she said, now on her *almost* 99th finger. Mike laughed.  
  
"Do you know why I like you?" he said whispering. Kate tried to lean in closer, but slipped on her jacket, and ended up sprawled on the floor.  
  
"W-why?" she asked flat on her back. Mike lay down next to her.  
  
"Because everything about you is perfect." Mike took Kate's hand, and Kate stared up at the ceiling.  
  
As drunk as she was, she still knew Mike had given her quite a compliment.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret banged on the door to the room. "CAN ANYONE HEAR ME!" he called out. He turned around, and faced the scariest man alive, a thousand times scarier than Doreen.   
  
"Alas, we meet again," said the blonde elf. Bret let out a squeak.  
  
"I'm not into guys you know," Bret said softly, voice cracking. The elf advanced towards him. He was slowly sticking out his tongue. Bret struggled inside his straight jacket.   
  
"Open up big boy," the elf said smiling playfully. Bret was whiter than the sides of the room.  
  
Suddenly, a nurse walked in smiling. "You have a call... Mr... McKenzie..." she said trailing off at the sight of the wannabe elf-French kisser. "How did YOU get in here?" she asked, laughing.  
  
"I'm here to take Bret home with me."  
  
"Right, well," said the nurse. "You can take him."  
  
"NO!" cried Bret. "This man tried to molest me! I DO NOT GO OUT WITH HIM!"  
  
"I'm sorry," whispered the wannabe elf-French kisser. "He isn't right in the head."  
  
"I understand," whispered the nurse. "Would you like your call, Mr. McKenzie?" Before Bret could cry out, "YES!" wannabe elf said,  
  
"No calls right now, please. It will just upset him."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"W-what are you doing still here?" Ashley cried out.  
  
"Thinking," Craig said, tears clinging to his face.  
  
"About?" Ashley said, trying to be nonchalant.  
  
"Isn't it obvious?" Craig snapped. Ashley sighed.  
  
"Look, Craig, I don't know what's wrong with me..."  
  
"I do," Craig interrupted. "You're not ready to have sex. And I understand that. For fucks sake, I'm 18 years OLDER THAN YOU!" he screamed. Ashley thought for a moment.  
  
"I can act older, I am usually a lot more mature, just around you I go all.. spazoid.. and I lose myself in the beauty that is your soul and body and just... you," Ashley comforted. Craig seemed to smile, and to drift off into his own thoughts, then he snapped to attention.  
  
"This is wrong," he said. "This is immoral. There's a reason things keep on getting fucked up."  
  
"There's a reason," said Ashley, voice rising. "That we keep on ending up back together again." The curtness in her voice cut through Craig, and he snapped to attention, like a brittle bone.  
  
"I need to go," he said standing up. "Ashley, I'll call you from New Zealand." Ashley thought for a moment, then said,  
  
"No, you won't." Craig pivoted mid-step.  
  
"What?" he asked, voice dripping with furiosity.  
  
"You won't call me. I know it." Craig laughed, but a hollow laugh, as if it were the only thing brightening his soul.  
  
"You're right," he said. "I only wanted you for sex." Although Ashley was ready to let Craig leave, she wasn't ready to let him go.  
"You don't mean that," she said, almost breaking into two.  
  
"Of course I do," he said, malevolently. "Don't talk to me again. We're over. And you're a slut," he said, thrusting his back into his car, and speeding away.  
  
Ashley knew he didn't mean it, but at this point, she didn't care. Craig was the biggest jerk that has ever lived.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret's eyes widened.  
  
"You HAVE to let me take that call. PLEASE!!!!!" he began to sob, falling onto his  
  
knees beside the nurse. The nurse looked at Ax sympathetically.  
  
"I think he should take this call... It may be the last he ever gets..."  
  
Ax sighed and dramatically ran his hand through his long blonde hair, gingerly touching  
  
his fake pointed-ears to make sure they were still intact.  
  
"I suppose... but make it QUICK. We need to give you your bath soon..." he smiled  
  
evilly as Bret whimpered and walked on his knees over to the nurse who led him out the  
  
door.  
  
Oh yes... thought Ax. His plan was working perfectly...  
  
And with that he let out another high-pitched maniacal laugh.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret was hoisted onto a tall rolly thing that he had to be strapped to... much like the  
  
one in Hannibal. Why did he have to go through all of this?... he didn't eat anybody  
  
for fuck's sake.  
  
He was rolled down the long white hallway to a door... but this door was not a blinding  
  
bright white door. It was a blue door. He hadn't seen anything so beautiful and full of  
  
color for the last several hours that he was in the "hospital". One of the chubby  
  
nurses on his right opened the door and led him into a room. And this room was also  
  
white.  
  
Bret let out a sob.  
  
At the end of the white room was a red telephone, and Bret was slowly rolled towards  
  
its reddish glory.  
  
A nurse picked up the receiver and held the phone to Bret's ear.  
  
"Hello?" he squeaked.  
  
"Bret?" came a voice on the other line... there was a Kiwi twang to it... but  
  
nothing like Craig's voice.  
  
"Who's this?" he asked. Suspicion was rising in his voice.  
  
"It's Mark... Bret I heard about what happened... do you want me to come and get  
  
you?"  
  
"Mark?" Bret asked. Mark was a good friend of his, yes, but why was he offering to  
  
help him? He had never done anything really nice for Mark. Weird.  
  
"Yes, it's Mark... Are you okay?" There was true concern in his voice.  
  
"No... NO!!!!!!" Bret was becoming very emotional. I mean, who wouldn't be? Ending  
  
up in an asylum when you weren't even crazy... getting molested by a man who pretended  
  
to be an elf... Pretty traumatizing, I think.  
  
"Hey, mate... You're not sounding too good. I'm gonna pick you up... I should be  
  
there in about an hour... I'm at a hotel a little ways from there."  
  
Bret squeaked.  
  
"Mark..." Bret softened his voice and tried to make it as high as possible so that  
  
the nurses couldn't understand him... but so that Mark could. "PleEEeaasEEE...  
  
Hurrrrrryyyyyy-eeee... thhhhheerrrreee'ssssss... aaaaaaaa... maaaaaaaaaan...  
  
trrryyyIIInnng tooooo..... Moleeeeeeesssssttt... meeeeeeeeeeee-EEEE."  
  
Mark could be heard trying to squint his eyes and trying to decipher whatever the hell  
  
it was that Bret was saying.  
  
"Er... right, mate. I'll make it quick." And he hung up.  
  
Bret nodded to the nurses, who gave him odd looks, and they hung up the phone for him.  
  
"My friend Mark's going to be here pretty soon to pick me up," Bret grinned, for the  
  
first time in a long time.  
  
"Mmmhmm..." said the nurse behind him who was wheeling him back to the room with Ax.  
  
"Hey pretty boy, come to DADDY!" called Ax, standing in the center of the round room  
  
as the door was closed behind Bret.  
  
Bret screamed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Mark drove to Georgetown University Hospital. He noted how the "Hospital" was crossed out with spray-paint and replaced with a crudely written "Loony-House". Georgetown University could not be missed, as he had been driving down a street in an urban area... then down a dirt road for half-an-hour where his eyes were met with a bright  
  
white building, with absolutely no windows, surrounded by a menacing electrical fence.  
  
Great, thought Mark. He was probably going to be questioned by a S.W.A.T. team to be  
  
able to get in, only he would not answer one of the questions right, and be turned away  
  
and shot.  
  
Mark found, to his delight, that there was no S.W.A.T team awaiting him at the  
  
entrance, only a small ticket booth where an elderly gentleman sat. He drove up to the  
  
booth.  
  
The old man did not say anything, only handed him a ticket and waved him through. He parked in the parking lot, where his small red Toyota Corolla was surrounded by dozens of white minivans. This was really starting to freak Mark out. And Mark didn't usually freak out.  
  
He walked through the sliding door and went over to the front desk, which was clearly  
  
labeled in large black letters "Front Desk".  
  
Mark was not a short man, nor was he a regular sized man... Mark was a tall man, and  
  
had to bend over slightly to look at the person in the window of the boxed- up front  
  
desk.  
  
"Can I help you sir?" asked a pimply young woman with horn-rimmed glasses.  
  
"Uh... yes..." said Mark, trying not to stare at a rather large zit in the middle of  
  
her forehead. "I'm Mark Ferguson. I'm here to pick up Bret McKenzie."  
  
"Him... yes," she said, scanning through a packet of papers. "You can go ahead and  
  
sit in the waiting room. We'll send him right out."  
  
"Thank you," Mark said, turning to look for the waiting room, sure enough labeled  
  
"Waiting Room".  
  
Mark took a seat in the white room, next to a hooded figure and sighed. There were no  
  
magazines to read, no TV to watch, no fish tank to gawk at, and no children's blocks to  
  
play with. He would have to improvise.  
  
He crossed his long legs casually and turned to the figure seated on his right. He was  
  
clad in a long black cloak and hunched over, his face turned away from Mark.  
  
He decided to make conversation.  
  
"So..." he said, addressing the cloaked-one. "What are you here for?"  
  
There was no response. Perhaps he had offended him.  
  
"Listen, mate. I'm sorry... that was very inappropriate for me to say." he patted  
  
the figure on the shoulder. The cloaked-one didn't move.  
  
"Hey listen, mate, there's no reason to give me the cold-shoulder! I was only trying  
  
to be NICE!" Mark was angry, and hit the cloaked-one upside the head. And the head  
  
cracked off... and rolled onto the floor. It was a skull. The man sitting next to Mark  
  
was dead.  
  
Mark screeched, leaping several feet up into the air and over to the seat as far away  
  
from the headless skeleton as possible.  
  
A nurse stepped into the waiting room and her eyes widened when she saw Mark crouched up onto the chair looking mortified.  
  
"Is there anything... wrong... Mr. Ferguson?" she asked, still giving Mark an odd  
  
look. Mark shook his head quickly as a response; his eyes were still glued on the spot  
  
where the skull lay. The nurse seem ignorant to the fact that there was a dead person  
  
in her waiting room.  
  
"Right... we have Mr. McKenzie for you, then." she finished. There were screams and  
  
sobs coming down the corridor and Mark was greeted with the rather unappealing sight of Bret in his underoos.  
  
"Mark!" Bret sobbed, his hair disheveled and a big hickey on his arm.  
  
"Bret!" Mark cried. "Where are your clothes?"  
  
"I don't know!" sobbed Bret, trying to cover himself up.  
  
"We have an extra gown... I'll go get it for you..." a nurse said and ran out of the  
  
room.  
  
"What did they do to you?" Mark asked, indicating the hickey on Bret's arm.  
  
Bret lowered his voice. "One of the male doctors tried to DO things to me..."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Bret." Mark said sympathetically.  
  
The nurse came back in the room holding a long white gown, which Bret gratefully  
  
slipped on. It was nice to be fully clothed again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Walking Bret out of the "hospital", Mark pat his back and said, "Where are you staying, mate?"  
  
Bret smiled... an evil smile.  
  
"2701 Snowbird Terrace... Apartment number 8 in Silver Spring."  
  
"Well, then... let's get you back there and out of this hell hole."  
  
Bret smiled again. He was sure Ashley wouldn't mind them coming to stay... She was  
  
partially responsible for him ending up here; she did own the cat that shot him. This  
  
would be a way of repaying him.  
  
Mark and Bret got into the Toyota and sped off towards Silver Spring.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The pizza arrived, much to the happiness of both Paige and Elijah. They ate it like it was the first food they had received since being released from a low-grade prison. Paige laughed awkwardly every time she and Elijah made noises while they ate.  
  
After a long while of eating and laughing, Elijah gazed at Paige dreamily. Paige challenged his stare.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, smiling.  
  
"Come to L.A. with me- are you alright?" Elijah said, as Paige was chocking on the piece of pizza she had just stuffed into her mouth.  
  
"L.A.?" she sputtered.  
  
"Yes," said Elijah after Paige calmed down.  
  
"Why?" Paige asked.  
  
"Because, I want to put you on my label." Paige stared.  
  
"I don't think my mom would approve."  
  
"I don't mean live with me or anything, I mean just. I want to see you, and what an opportunity! You have the most amazing voice and,"  
  
"I would miss school," Paige continued. She and Elijah were talking simultaneously. "I would miss my friends."  
  
"-and then you could jump start your acting career! Everyone has been telling me that you are an amazing actress, I can't wait to see you,"  
  
"-and who would Rhys be able to talk to? She's my little sister, she can't grow up by herself,"  
  
"-and L.A. has so many beaches, and it's always hot! I could get you like a personal trainer, and you could be the hottest girl on the beach! Not that you aren't already,"  
  
"-and everyone at my school would hate me for skipping on them, and then my family wouldn't ever see me,"  
  
"Paige," Elijah said sternly. "I want you to come with me. You would get paid. This is everything you have hoped for your whole life."  
  
"I can't! I have too much here to leave," Paige said sorrowfully.  
  
"Bullshit," Elijah said, surprising Paige. "You are just scared to change."  
  
"I'm not! I love D.C., and I love my friends, and-"  
  
"You are just scared out of your mind, aren't you? You think that I'm just going to abandon you!" Elijah said.  
  
"YES! Is that what you want? Yes, I'm scared shitless. I'm scared you are going to abandon me, just like everyone else in my life has. I'm going to pick up everything for what? Another disappointment by another man?" Paige screamed, several patrons turning their heads to look at her.  
  
"You think I don't see it," Elijah said, softly. "You think I don't see the mountains of pain in your eyes. You don't think I see the burden you carry around with every step. You don't think I see the wall you put up against the world, so that someone you love can't hurt you. Oh," said Elijah, interrupting Paige's protests. "You are open with your friends, but their not men, are they? You don't think I can't see the way you avoid connection, the way you hate yourself. The way that if anyone gives you a compliment, you shy away. What is inside your head, Paige? What is it? Because you are so vulnerable to everything, even though you block it out with all your heart. You have to trust me, Paige. Just because I am a man doesn't mean I'm going to rip you apart. What happened to you? Because I see it in every step. Every step you take I shudder. Because if it's hurting you, you know that it's hurting me." Paige looked down. Elijah lifted up her chin to look at him. "Tell me, Paige." She took a breath.  
  
"My father," Paige said, trying to hold the broken shards of glass inside her together. "My father showed me a world where I would be alienated by men. Where I would never be able to rise above, where every man I loved would put me down. I can't even be a friend with a boy without seeing something I need to run from, because in the future it's going to bind me in chains. In the future, I won't have room to breathe. Elijah, I am drowning. I hate it, because I can't breathe even now. It's like, the air is getting cut short. If I take a breath to love myself, then I'll die. Because I don't have enough air to begin with. Every person, Elijah, EVERY PERSON!" she screamed, and banged on the table. "Every fucking person I have ever loved has left me. Except for my mom, but that's such a different story. Isn't it? Why am I so fucking damaged that no one wants to stay with me?" Paige said, breaking down into tears. Shudders of tears left her doubled over, and Elijah walked over and put his hand on her back.  
  
"I won't ever leave you, Paige," he said. "I was put on this Earth, I think, to take care of you. I love you. I love you, oh god Paige," Elijah said. "Please, my god. It's like- the world can fuck us for all I care, but I will," he clenched his teeth, "never, ever, leave you. If I can't convince you of this, then you will see in time. I will be there for you every moment of the day. I will listen to you complain about the bagel you dropped on the floor for hours just so that I can be by your side," Elijah said, eyes shining. Paige looked up at him.  
  
"Why?" she asked. Elijah stared.  
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why do you want me? Why does it matter if you are near me? I not fucking good enough for this world, not fucking good enough for you." Elijah grabbed Paige, and pulled her onto the floor. He rocked her back and forth.  
  
"Don't you EVER say that," he said, sternly. "I will get through to you, if it's the last thing I do. I love you, and loving someone means putting up with shit. And it sounds like you have never had someone really love you, save your mom. I love you."  
  
"Excuse me," said the waiter. Paige and Elijah looked up. They started laughing, hearty laughs that mixed with the tears running down their faces. They must have been the strangest of sites.  
  
"I'll pay the check, and we'll leave," said Elijah, signing the credit card check, and leaving the waiter quite a tip.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige was glad to be home. It took a lot out of her to open up to Elijah like that. But, she was glad. It seemed to be the glue that resealed their relationship, especially after her sex-caped with Elijah in the massage room.  
  
Paige's phone rang multiple times.  
  
"Hello?" she said, her voice husky, thinking it was Elijah.  
  
"Hey," said Bret. Paige froze.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" she said, angry.  
  
"Look, I'm really sorry about earlier, but I need your help..."  
  
"Why the fuck do you think I would help YOU?" asked Paige, bitterly. Bret sighed.  
  
"You're a nice person, Paige... I know you can't hold hatred for someone for long amounts of time."  
  
"Damnit," Paige muttered. "You're right, I can't. But if I could..." she said, shaking her finger. "What do you want help with?"  
  
"It's the guy, Ax... he's been following me and Mark around. I got his address, and I want you to scope it out for me. He, uh, tried to molest me in New Zealand and in the mental hospital."  
  
"Wait a second... Mark? Mental Hospital?"  
  
"Yes, you're little BOYFRIEND didn't tell you about that, eh? How he put me IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL." Bret said angrily. Paige couldn't control her laughter.  
  
"Serves you right, hun." Paige said, tears of laughter leaking out.  
  
"Right, well... are you going to help me?" asked Bret impatiently.  
  
"What's the address?" asked Paige lamely.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashley had no idea what the fuck she was going to do... Craig had left her, her parents had left her... all was possible.  
  
She picked up the phone and dialed Kate's number. "KATE!" Ashley screamed, before Kate had an opportunity to slur an hello.  
  
"What?" Kate said, flatly.  
  
"Are you... drunk?" asked Ashley.  
  
"Yup," said Kate.  
  
"Why is everyone always drunk when I talk to them?" Ashley pondered aloud. "Anyways, I uhh... Craig and I had a fight. And he just left for New Zealand." Ashley heard a clink, and then a very loud "thud."  
  
"Shit!" exclaimed Kate. "Mike just fell off the couch.. I gotta go... shit my parents will be home in an hour..." Kate said, and hung up the phone.  
  
Ashley sighed. She was beginning to understand how Bret felt.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Paige looked up at the apartment building where Ax was supposed to live. It didn't seem that ominous. Actually, it looked quite cozy. Except for the occasional crack houses (which are everywhere in D.C., anyways), it was a rather good neighborhood. Miles better than Capitol Hill when Paige lived there.  
  
Rolling her eyes at the thought of having to make conversation with a man- rapist, Paige walked up to the door. She imagined the conversation going something like this,  
  
*opens door* "Hi, I'm a friend of Bret. Could you tell me why you are raping him?"  
  
"I like annoying elves." *shuts door in face*  
  
Paige knocked on the door, and when it opened, gasped.  
  
"M-Mr. Goldberg? What are you doing wearing a blonde wig?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The airport seemed so much colder to Craig now that he had been through it once with someone he loved. I.M. Pei's architecture at Dulles left him feeling too geometric. He hated math.  
  
The flight attendant announced that first class passengers could now start boarding the plane. Craig found it difficult to hoist himself up out of his seat, despite the fact that he had brought very little luggage.  
  
He heard his cell phone jingling, and decided to let it ring. For all he knew, it could be the grim reaper calling to tell him his lease on life was up.  
  
For a moment, that's exactly what Craig wanted.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret grinned madly as Ashley ushered him into her apartment. Mark stared.  
  
"Don't I know you from somewhere?" he said, scratching his head.  
  
"Yes, the convention," said Ashley. "You put your hand on my basooma. Practically," Ashley hissed, not in a mood to be hospitable. Bret scowled. "Do ya mind if I get dressed," she asked moodily, "seeing as you barged in on me without asking." Not waiting for a response, Ashley walked into her room and slammed the door shut. Mark turned to Bret.  
  
"Funny meeting her here," said Mark smiling. "She had the nicest boobs I had ever accidentally felt up." Bret punched Mark only slightly in his ribs.  
  
"Put a sock in it, okay mate?" Bret scowled. Mark sighed.  
  
"You know if you keep scowling, you are going to get wrinkles." Bret looked at Mark.  
  
"You a woman now, mate?" said Bret, joking.  
  
"Sometimes I wish I was," said Mark dreamily. Bret froze.  
  
"I've been molested by too many he/she's to go through this again," said Bret. "You're going to a hotel." Mark shrugged.  
  
"Suit yourself," he said, and gangled out the front door.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate was in a state of panic. They couldn't drive, seeing as they were both drunk. They couldn't hide, seeing as her parents would find them. And they certainly couldn't walk, seeing as Mike had barfed all over himself.  
  
Kate picked up the phone and dialed the number for a cab. She was going to have to waste her allowance that she had been saving up for buying another Linkin Park cd. She laughed, then realized that Mike could probably give her all the Linkin Park c-d's in the world for free. At least on that note, she was perfectly happy being drunk.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Damn, Ashley's life sucked. It REALLY sucked.  
  
She was taking a shower humming the Funeral march as she washed her hair. There was a knock at the door, but of course, Ashley didn't hear it. Then there were six  
  
consecutive rings of the doorbell.  
  
Shit, thought Ashley as she turned the shower off, the partially washed out shampoo  
  
running in her eyes. She groped for a towel and wrapped it tightly around herself.  
  
Muttering a series of curses in Spanish (in which her vocabulary was limited to  
  
"burrito" and "hola"), she walked quickly towards the door as the bell was rung  
  
repeatedly.  
  
"Coming!" she called, walking quicker towards the door.  
  
The doorbell ran some more.  
  
"COMING god dammit!" she screamed at the noisy door.  
  
The ringing ceased. She opened it to find Bret in a white paper hospital gown standing  
  
beside Mark, who looked like a beanpole standing next to Bret. She squinted. The  
  
shampoo was really burning her eyes.  
  
"What the FUCK are you doing here?!?" she growled, wrapping the towel tighter around herself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate was finally finished cleaning all the shot glasses and successfully put them back  
  
without breaking them in her rush.  
  
Mike was sitting on the floor, rubbing the bruise on his head, looking around dazedly.  
  
Kate jogged into the living room.  
  
"Mike, my parents are going to be here in ten minutes... we should probably get out  
  
of here before they get back..."  
  
Mike nodded, still feeling slightly woozy.  
  
"Yah..." he started to stand up, but felt a wave of nausea wash over him.  
  
He began to turn green.  
  
"Uh... Mike? You okay?"  
  
Mike nodded, pressing his hand over his mouth. He made a mad dash towards the bathroom.  
  
Okay, Kate thought. Maybe it's not such a great idea to go anywhere right now...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige stared in disbelief at her former World Studies (excuse me... "American History")  
  
teacher.  
  
"Er..." said Goldberg, straightening his wig. "Do I know you?"  
  
"No..." lied Paige, not wanting Mr. Goldberg to know her true identity... in fear of  
  
using it against her. "Do you happen to know a..." she lowered her voice. "Bret  
  
McKenzie?"  
  
"Ax's" eyes glazed over momentarily.  
  
"Why yes, yes I do..." he said, wiping the drool off his chin.  
  
Paige smirked.  
  
"He has a gift for you..." she said.  
  
"Really?" said Goldberg, becoming excited and imagining all the dirty little things  
  
that "his itty bitty Sex Fig" could give him.  
  
"Do you want it?" asked Paige, slowly balling up her fist behind her back.  
  
"Yes..." said "Ax" greedily, leaning forward, only to be met with Paige's fist right  
  
smack in the middle of his nose.  
  
It broke in a sickening "crack" and blood began to pour out of it. Goldberg let out a  
  
high-pitched cry.  
  
He looked up, holding his nose, only to find Paige gone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige took a taxi over to Elijah's apartment later that day after cleaning herself up.  
  
She had actually touched her former teacher without latex surgical gloves, and had to  
  
get the stench of him off her hands fast with a little help of her good friend Mr.  
  
Liquid Dish Soap.  
  
He opened up the door and greeted Paige with a kiss, offering her a glass of Coke as  
  
they both sat down on the couch.  
  
"So..." said Paige, looking around the room.  
  
"Is there something you want to tell me?" Elijah asked, whilst gazing at a spot on  
  
the carpet where his now deceased Dachshund, Mr. Winkles, had peed. Elijah had tried  
  
oh-so hard to get that spot out. Damn dog, thought Elijah, returning his attention back  
  
to Paige.  
  
"Did you know that Bret was molested during the filming of the Return of the King?"  
  
Paige asked, taking a sip of Coke.  
  
"What?" said Elijah in disbelief. He didn't really go and watch Bret shoot his only  
  
scene, for fear of Liv Tyler trying to suck-up to him and rant about her new makeup or  
  
stupid gay things that Orlando Bloom did that morning. Elijah almost felt badly for  
  
Bret, and wondered why he never told him about it in the first place.  
  
"Well... there was a man... let's call him "Ax"... and let's also say that "Ax" was  
  
an elf extra with long blonde hair and pointed ears... let's also say that "Ax" is  
  
gay..." she was emphasizing each quote with her fingers as she continued. "Let's say  
  
that he nearly raped Bret... and let's say that "someone" was called by Bret to go over  
  
to "Ax's" house and avenge Bret. Let's also say that that "someone" found out that is  
  
what their former World Studies teacher and that "someone" broke his nose."  
  
Elijah sat transfixed.  
  
"You punched your World Studies teacher?" Elijah laughed.  
  
Paige scowled.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Craig looked at the boarding gate and checked his watch. Five more minutes until  
  
boarding time. Five more minutes until he left the United States. Five more minutes  
  
until he stepped out of the life of the girl he loved. He loved Ashley, he loved her as an adult would another adult. But it was wrong for an adult to love a minor that way. It was wrong and he knew it. Craig also knew that nothing so small as age matters when you're in love.  
  
Craig sat on his bag and massaged his temples, his eyes shut. His head hurt immensely,  
  
and his stomach churned.  
But what to do?  
  
Getting up Craig took his bag and began to walk away from the terminal.  
"Flight 682 now boarding. One-way trip to Auckland is now boarding."  
He couldn't do this. He couldn't waste his life like this. He had to go back. He walked faster, not pausing to look back. He walked outside and hailed a cab.  
"Take me to Silver Spring."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret dialed Craig's number over and over again. He couldn't understand why Craig wouldn't answer him. Finally, on the third ring of the 99th time Bret had called, Craig picked up.  
"Hello?" Craig wearily said.  
"Hey," squeaked Bret. Craig's muscles audibly tensed.  
"What the fuck do you want," drawled Craig. Bret squeaked again.  
"I don't like what you are doing to Ashley," started Bret. "It seems unfair and just so manipulative." Craig sighed.  
"When did you last see Ashley? Like a week ago? A lot has happened since you were shot, mate," Craig said irritably. "The world doesn't stop for you, you know."  
"Look," said Bret, voice gaining strength. "Stay away from Ashley, or..."  
"Or fucking what?" Craig challenged. The cab driver turned around in his seat.  
"I'll tell the police." Bret waited for Craig's response. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Elijah stood laughing at Paige.  
"I can't imagine you punching anyone," Elijah said gasping in between breaths. Paige looked at him with contempt.  
"I can punch people," she said. Elijah burst out into another chorus of laughter.  
"Punch... people..." Elijah gasped. Paige walked up to him and punched him very lightly on the arm. Elijah continued to laugh.  
"Fine," said Paige sourly. Elijah stopped laughing, but still smiled.  
"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," he said. Paige scowled.  
"No, but I do find it disturbing that Mr. Goldberg molested Bret." Elijah broke into another chorus of laughter. His eyes were gleaming with tears. Paige finally looked up and smiled.  
"Admitting defeat, eh?" said Elijah. Paige nodded, one eyebrow slightly raised. Elijah walked over and gave Paige a small kiss. "Given any more thought to what we talked about a couple nights ago," he said softly, not wanting to tap into the well of emotions that had sprung forth the previous time they had talked. Paige nodded. "And..." started Elijah.  
"I'm moving to L.A. if you really will sign me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
There came a knock at Ashley's door. Running forward, she opened the door without bothering to check who it was.  
And her heart stopped. Bret looked out of his room, wondering who had knocked on the door.  
"Hey," said Craig feebly.  
"Hey," muttered Ashley hotly. Bret slunk further down on the side of his door. Craig looked angrily at him, and then looked at Ashley. "Would you like to come inside," she said, fuming.  
"No," said Craig. "It will make it easier if I do this quick." He looked at Bret. Ashley saw his gaze, and turned around to look at him.  
"What?" she asked. "Why do you keep on staring at him?"  
"Nothing," said Craig, defying Ashley. "Nothing at fucking all." Something in his tone bothered Ashley.  
"This is wrong," said Craig. "Really wrong. Our whole relationship is entirely fucked up. You don't even know me," said Craig.  
"But, I know your birthday and everything," Craig put up his hand to stop Ashley.  
"You are just obsessed. An obsessed fucking fan. And I had the misfortune of falling in love with you. But, look, you are too young, and we don't know each other, and everything is just moving way too fast, and..."  
"What about Paige and Elijah?" asked Ashley, voice rising. "What about Kate and Mike?" Craig looked at her.  
"That's fine for them, but to tell you the truth, do any of you really know these people who you claim to love? Or are you just so obsessed with the idea of being with celebrities that you will fuck any one of them that you can get your hands on."  
"That's not it at all," said Ashley, angry.  
"To be frank, you are all sluts. To be frank, you're messing with men who could hurt you. Scar you. And you know what? I'm just not the kind of fuck to do something like that. I can't be that person, Ashley. This is wrong."  
Regardless of how Bret was blackmailing him, or the fact that his life was on the line, Ashley realized he meant everything he said.  
And what was scary was that he was telling the truth. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You bastard..." she whispered, her voice cracking under the pressure of tears. "You  
  
don't even know HALF of the fucking way I love you and of what I would do for you. You know what, Craig? I would do anything for you and now you just toss me aside like some FUCKING play thing because I'm younger than you?" Tears began to fall from her eyes. Craig's jaw tightened and his eyes were ice. He didn't say anything, just stared her  
  
down.  
  
"I love you Craig, and if that's too damn hard for you to handle, then that's too  
  
bad."  
  
She slammed the door, and let out a choked sob. She turned to Bret.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Mark was wandering down Snowbird Terrace, very, very lost. People driving by stared, as he was so tall.  
  
He had come to D.C., as he had been elected the Ambassador of New Zealand (his friend asked him to sign some contract when he was drunk at a barbecue), and had to meet with a bunch of other Ambassadors and talk about important "international relations" or something like that. At least, that's what Mark heard. He really wasn't paying attention at the last meeting before he came, and the meeting was probably supposed to be today. Oh well. He didn't like the job anyway. He didn't like wearing suits and ties and carrying briefcases. Mark like wearing jeans and leather jackets and shirts that made him look long.  
  
To tell you the truth, Mark was weird.  
  
He looked back over at Ashley's apartment. Bret had asked him to go somewhere, but he forgot where Bret had asked him to go.  
  
He trodded back to Apartment Number 8.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Elijah's eyes lit up.  
  
"Paige, that WONDERFUL!" he gave her a big hug and a kiss.  
  
"When are you moving?" he asked, excited beyond belief.  
  
Paige sighed. She had mixed feelings about this. She wanted to be with Elijah, but she  
  
also had friends here. In LA she could be famous, but that would mean leaving her  
  
friends behind.  
  
"I'm not sure... We're still trying to find a house." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate and Mike woke up groggy. Kate didn't exactly remember where she was.  
Shit, she thought. They were lying together in a hotel. Kate tried creeping out of bed, but Mike put his hand tighter around Kate.  
"Fuuccckk," she whispered aloud. Mike woke with a start.  
"Whossair?" he yelled. Kate looked at him. His hand was now in an uncomfortable place. Mike instantly moved it.  
"Sorry, sorry, sorry," he muttered profusely. He rubbed his eyes.  
"Where are we?" asked Kate, staring at him through small eyes. Mike looked scared.  
"I dunno," he said. He looked at Kate.  
"Where'd you get that nose ring?" he asked. Kate felt her nose.  
"OUCH!" she screamed. It was sore. She looked at Mike.  
"Why are you wearing a wedding ring around your finger?" she asked him, suspicious.  
"I thought I took this off...when..." he looked down. "This isn't my old wedding ring. It looks like your nose ring." Kate stared.  
"You know what that means, right?" Kate said, trying to keep her voice under control. There came a knock at the door.  
"CHAMPAGNE!" the person yelled. "On the house, for the HAPPY COUPLE!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley stared at Bret.  
"What the fuck do you have to do with this," she screamed at him. He looked absolutely terrified.  
"N-nothing!" he screeched.  
"What, are you afraid of a 15 year old GIRL!" Ashley yelled. Bret nodded. Ashley stopped in her tracks, then collapsed to the floor, crying. Bret came over and put his hand on her back.  
Ashley ripped it off, and spit in his face. "Just because you take advantage of everyone else, doesn't mean you can take advantage of me." She got up, and slammed the door to her room.  
There came a knock at the door. Bret waited for Ashley to open it, but instead opened it himself.   
It was Mark. Bret sighed, and closed the door in his face. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
"GO AWAY!" screamed Kate.  
"No, we won't," sang a pleasant voice.  
"What do you mean, we?" asked Kate.  
"Your wedding-a-gram!" sang the lady. Kate opened the door.  
And punched the lady in the face.  
Then shut the door.  
"Who would let a 14 year old GET MARRIED?" asked Kate, furious. She looked at the nightstand next to the table, and saw there was a number written on a napkin. She dialed it.  
"Hello," said a stoned voice.  
"Hello," said Kate, insanely angry. "Did you marry a Kate and Mike last night?"  
"Uhh, yeah," said the stoned voice. "Pretty wedding."  
"Riight," said Kate, still a bit hungover. "Why did you let them get married?!?!" she screamed, snapping back to attention.  
"I dunno, what was wrong with it?"  
"The bride was 14," said Kate, curtly.  
"Oooh," said the stoned voice. "Well, she told me she was 18, and the dude vouched for her."  
"Are you even a minister?" asked Kate, hoping he wasn't.  
"Yup, got ordained on the internet. I can legally marry people," he said, a smile in his voice.  
Kate let out a shrill cry. "Thanks," she sobbed, and hung up the phone.  
She looked at Mike, and cried.  
"You got, uhh," said Mike, trying to let Kate know she had a booger coming out of her nose. Kate let out another shrill cry when she realized what Mike was indicating.  
"Is this what my life is? Getting married at 15 illegally, and having my husband find boogers hanging out of my nose?" sobbed Kate.  
"Not that bad a life," said Mike, sarcastic. Kate slapped him, and flopped onto the bed, sobbing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You're really gonna do this, huh?" said Elijah, still disbelieving. Paige nodded albeit hesitantly.  
  
"Yeah. I'm going to go through with this..."  
  
"Wow... that means you can come and visit me whenever you like, we could go out to  
  
restaurants, I could take you shopping..." Elijah said, grinning widely.  
  
"Yeah, that would be great wouldn't it?" she said, looking at the ground.  
  
Elijah frowned.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Elijah, I love you... but I have my friends here, and I have lived here so long...  
  
and it's all so familiar to me... I would lose all of it..."  
  
Elijah put his arm around Paige in a comforting gesture.  
  
"But you'll make new friends, and they can come and visit..." Elijah offered.  
  
"Yeah... yeah, I guess your right," Paige gave a small smile.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``  
  
Mark looked at the door of Ashley's apartment sadly. Why wasn't Bret letting him in?  
  
Was there... something going on that he should be involved with too? Well, if it had anything to do remotely with sex, Mark was in. Even if nobody wanted Mark to be there.  
  
Mark knocked on the door again. Bret opened it.  
  
"What's wrong with you, mate?" Mark asked, concerned, and also trying to get a peak  
  
inside the apartment.  
  
"Sorry Mark, Ashley is angry with me..." Bret said, his eyes were said.  
  
"I heard something about you being scared of a fifteen year old girl, Bret... is  
  
this true?" Mark raised an eyebrow questioningly. This elven king was not one to be  
  
messed with.  
  
Bret frowned.  
  
"It's not like that, Mark... it's about Craig."  
  
Mark's eyebrows raised higher. Now what would his buddy Craig, have to do with any of  
  
this?  
  
"Craig? What happened with him?"  
  
"It's a long story, mate."  
  
"I'm all ears," said Mark, stepping closer to the door, hinting that he wanted to  
  
enter.  
  
"Come inside, then..." Bret stepped aside to allow Mark to get through. He was going  
  
to tell him everything, save the things that he knew would turn Mark on. Bret  
  
shuddered.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Kate was hopping mad. She knew she had to do something to make everything right with her and Mike's illegal marriage.  
She picked up the yellow pages and dialed City Hall. She let the phone ring for a little while.  
"Hello," said a tired voice.  
"Hello," said Kate, hurriedly. "I need to speak to someone about dissolving a marriage." Kate heard a sigh on the other end.  
"I'll connect you," said the woman. Kate was on hold for a few moments, then a booming male voice filled her telephone, making her turn down the volume.  
"HELLO!" he seemed to scream.  
"H-hey," said Kate tentatively. "I would like to dissolve my marriage."  
"Aren't you a bit young to be married?" said the man. Kate resisted the urge to curse.  
"Yes, that's exactly the problem. I was really drunk, and uhh, he was drunk, and we got married, and I told the person marrying us I was 18, but really I'm 14, and that's totally illegal, so we need this marriage to be dissolved," said Kate in one breath.  
"That's called an annullment," said the man on the other end.  
"Right," said Kate.  
"You're 14?" asked the man. "I thought you were 12." Kate throttled the telephone.  
"Right, well," said Kate.  
"Look, fact is- you were illegally drinking, then you got married to a- minor?"  
"No, he's over 18."  
"How far over 18?" asked the man. Kate sighed.  
"Right," said the man. "This is a big problem. Come on down with your parents, and..."  
"My parents?" screamed Kate.  
"Yes, you're parents," said the man, irritably. "We'll need their signatures on everything."  
"O-oh," said Kate. "Thanks, I'll come down."  
"Wait, wait!" she heard the man, but she had already hung up her phone.  
"Mike," she said. He looked at her.  
"Take a walk," he said, "before you say something you'll regret." Kate nodded, and walked outside the hotel. She pounded her feet along the streets, still not exactly sure where she was, but keeping in sight of the hotel. She passed a corner, and saw a homeless man and a homeless woman, embracing under a blanket. They seemed to be in love, and passers by were leaving so much money for them out of sheer pity and admiration.  
"Hey," said Kate, walking up to them. "Want to make $50 and have a free meal?" The two homeless people looked at her gratefully.  
"Yes, of course!" said the woman, happily.  
"Right," said Kate. "All I need you to do is pretend you are my parents." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elijah had ordered room service earlier that day, so he and Paige sat down to a nice  
  
meal of... multi-colored mush.  
  
"I never really liked hotel food," said Elijah, spooning up some orange colored mush  
  
and observing it carefully.  
  
"Which one's the meat one again?" Paige asked looking at her pile of green mush.  
  
"I think it's that gray one," Elijah said pointing over to the gray pile of mush.  
  
"And the rest is vegetarian, I believe... well, that's what they told me..."  
  
"Are you sure it's... edible?" Paige asked, picking at the yellow mush on her plate.  
  
"I guess..." said Elijah, holding the forkful of orange mush towards his mouth.  
  
"Here goes nothing..."  
  
He put the fork in his mouth and shut his eyes tightly as Paige looked on and chewed.  
  
"Wow..." he said. "WOW! That stuff is GOOD."  
  
"Really?" said Paige, staring down at her plate.  
  
Elijah nodded.  
  
Paige took a forkful of yellow mush and ate it. It was good... it may even be the  
  
best-tasting food in the world, believe it or not...  
  
"Wow," said Paige. "What is this stuff?"  
  
Elijah shrugged.  
  
"Mush, I guess."  
  
"But what the hell is mush made out of?"  
  
"You know what? I have no idea, nor do I want to find out."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret stared moodily at his wall. Things were not working out for him like he wished. He heard Ashley go into the bathroom and brush her teeth. He heard her go into his room and turn on the light. He didn't really come alive until Ashley put her hand on his shoulder.  
"You might turn blind looking into darkness, you know," she said, still a little bit angry. Bret hopped around.  
"You know," said Bret, about to insult Ashley. He looked up at her, and she burst out laughing.  
"You cheer me up," she said, walking out of the room. "And I thought I was miserable... one look at your face and..." she said, laughing, and closing the door to her room. Mark peeked his head out.  
"Oy!" he yelled, slightly high-pitched. "What is all the ruckus?"  
"Ask her," Bret muttered. Mark walked over to Bret and put his hand on Bret's shoulder.  
"Mate," he muttered. "Ah, mate,"  
"Are you going to try to talk to me about some sort of stupid feeling and make me feel like some kamikaze warrior in the face of defeat? Are you going to fill my head with incredible bullshit about the most horrible day of your life, on the set of LotR, where your wig was ripped off? Are you going to tell me everything is going to be okay, I just have to wait for some sort of sign? Say, are you? ARE YOU?" Bret leered at Mark.  
"No," Mark sighed. "I was just about to ask you if you knew if Ashley has any tea." Bret rolled his eyes.  
"No," he said sourly. "Ashley doesn't have any tea."  
"Pity," said Mark, sounding an awful lot like Bilbo in RotK. Bret was anticipating an, "I'd like to look at my old ring one last time," but it never came. Instead, Mark shuffled off to bed.  
Bret was startled by the phone ringing. He did a flip off the couch, and dived for the phone.  
"Ello?" he said, sighing.  
"HI," said a very girlie voice. "Is Ashley there?" He heard her pop a bubble while chewing either gum or some sticky substance.  
"No, it's rather late and she's in bed," said Bret, looking at his watch, which read 11:00.  
"Oh," said the girlie voice. "You have quite an interesting accent."  
"I'm from fucking New Zealand," he said, exasperated. The girl gasped.  
"Look, I didn't, I wasn't," she said, losing the huskily dreamy quality in her voice.  
"Yeah, well," said Bret, irritated. "Could I take a message?"  
"Yeah," said the girl, trying a bit of mystique. "Tell her I called."  
"And what, pray tell, is your name, MY FUCKING LADY!" Bret yelled.  
"Stacy," said the girl. "Stacy W." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Craig looked out the airplane window. The sky was a dreadful purplish pink, and all Craig was reminded of when he looked at the sky was blood. He thought that he had spilled all of his on Ashley's doorstep, but instead the sky seemed to have taken more as it's wallpaper.  
The flight attendant handed him a bag of peanuts. Craig's stomach gave a grumble.  
"For you, sir," she said in a Kiwi twang. Craig was glad to hear the first non-American accent (save Bret's) in days.  
"Thanks," he said. "But I'm really not hungry." The flight attendant leaned in closer.  
"I'm a big fan of yours," she said, happily. "I watch Mercy Peak almost every day." Craig gave her a very small smile.  
"I would like it very much," she said, leaning in closer. "If you and I could have a chat sometime."  
"That would be nice," said Craig, absentmindedly.  
"We have washing machines in the back of this airplane," said the flight attendant, "for those passengers who get sick," she said, smiling. Craig looked at her.  
"I don't understand..." Craig started.  
"Like with Amanda," she said. "How would you like to become a member of the mile high club?"  
"Very much," said Craig. He unbuckled his seat belt, and made his way to the back.  
Passengers on the airplane were warned of turbulence by the pilot, but they had no idea what kind of turbulence was being caused in the back.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret awoke the next morning to a knocking on the door.  
"Ashley," he called. "Are you going to get that?"  
"Hummphh," came her reply. He ambled off the couch, and opened the door.  
First thing he noticed was a very very blonde mop of hair. Then he noticed how very very pink she was. Then he noticed how insane her smile was.  
"Hi," she said. "I'm Stacy, and I'm here about Ashley..." she trailed off.  
"Well, uhh, she's sleeping," he said, as Stacy waltzed into Ashley's apartment. "What do you want with her, anyway."  
"Well, uhh, I had a question about our summer assignment last night," she said. "And I was in the neighborhood, so I decided to," she made a sweeping gesture, "Stop by." Bret stared.  
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked. Bret stared.  
"You're already in the apartment," he turned around to close the door.  
And as he was closing it, he heard her say, "You have such a sexy accent, you know?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret's jaw dropped.  
  
"Are you flirting with me?" Bret asked, suspicious.  
  
Stacy batted her chunky mascara-ed eyelashes and stepped closer.  
  
"Maybe..." she giggled.  
  
Bret raised his eyebrow. This girl was making him sick, her Abercrombie and Fitch  
  
clothing was an unnatural shade of pink. Her hair was frizzy and blonde, and it didn't  
  
move at all, probably due to too much hairspray being applied to it.  
  
"Er... I'll go get Ashley..." he ran quickly to her room and knocked on her door.  
  
Ashley opened it.  
  
"What?" she asked, stepping into the hallway.  
  
"One of your... friends, from school is here..." Bret said, looking around the corner  
  
to see Stacy checking her stiff hair in the mirror. Ashley raised an eyebrow and went into the living room.  
  
Her jaw dropped.  
  
"Stacy..." Ashley said, in disbelief.  
  
"ASHLEY!" she said fakely, skipping towards her.  
  
"What the HELL are you doing here?" she snapped; Stacy gave a jump.  
  
"I was here to ask you something about the summer assignment," she giggled.  
  
The preppy giggling was making Ashley nauseated, and she scowled at her.  
  
"You know... Your friend's really hot..." Stacy smiled at Bret, and batted her  
  
fake eyelashes at him.  
  
Bret cringed.  
  
"Could you leave now?" Ashley asked, getting frustrated with Stacy's stupidity.  
  
"But I..." Ashley shoved Stacy out the door and slammed it.  
  
"We're not friends... we're more like... acquaintances." Ashley said, looking at Bret.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate looked around the corner. She was in the building where she was going to get her  
  
"marriage" dissolved with Mike.  
  
The homeless people Kate bribed were off the streets and stood behind her.  
  
"Okay..." she said, addressing them. "You're Cheryl... and you're Eric." They both nodded.  
  
"And you're...?" 'Cheryl' asked, talking to Kate. Kate sighed.  
  
"I'm your daughter, Kate." They both nodded.  
  
"Why are we here?" 'Eric' asked Kate. Kate rolled her eyes.  
  
This was going to be harder than she thought.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Paige dialed Ashley's number on the telephone.  
"HELLO," Ashley screamed into the reciever.  
"Hey," Paige said casually. Ashley sighed.  
"Good, I thought it was Stephanie."  
"Stacy?!?!" asked Paige.  
"Yes," Ashley hissed. "Stacy came over."  
"Omigod. That's insane. What did Craig have to say?" Paige was met by silence.  
"Craig's not here," said Ashley.  
"Oh," Paige sighed. "I take it he left again."  
"Yes," Ashley hissed. Paige sighed again.  
"Look, you two aren't meant to be together. You just aren't."  
"What? Look at you talking, Elijah being all..."  
"We got back together," Paige interrupted, gleefully.  
"What? How do things have a 360 in a couple of days with us?"  
"I don't know... point is, we need to talk."  
"That's kind of difficult, seeing as I have to babysit Bret," Ashley jerked her head in Bret's general direction, giving herself a crick.  
"What? I thought he was staying with Mark seeing as Mr. Golberg molested him."  
"WHAT?" Ashley's mind riveted. "WHAT?"  
"We have to call each other more often," said Paige laughing. "Updates are important."  
"When did our lives get so crazy..." said Ashley.  
"Right when all the men started showing up," said Paige. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Kate got a ring on her cell phone. She picked it up.  
"Hello," she snapped.  
"Hey," said Paige.  
"Oh hi," said Kate, still snapping.   
"Is everyone angry today?" asked Paige, now in a slightly foul mood.  
"Yes, considering I'm dissolving my marriage."   
"Your what what?" asked Paige.  
"My fucking marriage," snapped Kate. "Mike and I got drunk and got married, and now I hired some homeless people to be my pretend parents so that we can dissolve it." Paige laughed.  
"Everything is so insane, you know? Ashley and Craig breaking up, Bret getting hitched up with Stacy, you getting married, me and Elijah breaking up..."  
"Slow the fuck down," said Kate. "Ashley and Craig broke up?"  
"Yes."  
"Damn. Bret got hitched with who?"  
  
"Stacy."  
"How the hell did that happen?"  
"She came round Ashley's apartment and hit on him."  
"What? Ashley's apartment? Isn't he in an insane asylum?"  
"Nope, Mark Ferguson got him out cause Mr. Goldberg was molesting him, so I punched Mr. Goldberg and now he is staying with Ashley."  
"This is weird. What?"  
"Yeah, I know."  
"Okay, I am too confused for words. But, you said something about you and Elijah getting back together..."  
"Yeah, uhh, we did."  
"When the fuck were you ever broken up?"  
"After we had sex, I broke up with him, then Bret tried to kiss me, and then he was put into an insane asylum cause Elijah wrote something stupid on the back of Bret's shirt." There was a long silence before Kate responded.  
"What the fuck is the world coming to?" asked Kate.  
"I have no idea. Look, we need to all have dinner because so much shit has happened and I have some exciting news. We need to all catch up."  
"Yes, indeed we do. When was the last time we all talked?"  
"Five days ago?"  
"How can so much happen in five days?" asked Kate, almost reminiscently of when her life was uncomplicated.  
"When did you and Mike become a couple?"  
"Uhh," said Kate. "We didn't. We made out in that spot you told me about a long time ago..."  
"Under the bridge?"  
"Yeah," said Kate. "Hey, speaking of that..."  
"Yeah?" said Paige, impatiently.  
"You failed to warn me about the hobo living under the bridge."  
"Oh yeah, sorry," said Paige. "I think I was mad at you when I told you, and never thought you would actually go there, so..."  
"Well, he scared the shit out of Mike." Paige laughed. "Look, I got to go, the homeless people need me to like go over how old I am and stuff..."  
"Look at you, Miss Hobo-Centric! How many hobos can you use in your life in five days?"  
"Hardy har har," said Kate. "When and where are we meeting?"  
"Tomorrow at Catus Canteena in Northwest. Ashley, Bret, Mike, Elijah, and I will be there."  
"Okay, I'll see you there."  
With that, Kate and Paige hung up, and Kate went into her meeting at the courthouse. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Kate walked back to her hotel room, smiling. She and Mike were no longer married. She was in esctasy.  
She knocked on the door to the hotel room. Mike let her in.  
"Hey," he said, smiling.  
"Hey," she said.  
"Where were you?" he asked, a little bit worried.  
"I just dissolved our marriage," said Kate, brightly. Mike smiled at her.  
"Good," he said. "Now, can I go back to sleep?"  
"Yes," said Kate.  
She snuggled in close to him, and the two fell fast asleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Bret was quiet in his room. His cell phone buzzed, and he picked it up.  
Hey this is Stacy, I found ur cell phone number thru directory assistance, and can u come outside? I'm waiting 4 u cuz I think we shuld go out.  
She had messaged him. He walked outside of his room, and tiptoed to the door.  
"What are you doing?" came a cryptic Ashley.  
"I'm, uhh..." he started. "Taking a walk." Ashley sighed, and let him walk out the door.   
  
"Hey..." Ashley said, peeking into her parents room where Mark was. He was still  
  
awake.  
  
"I can't sleep..." said Mark, laying on his side.  
  
"Neither can I..."  
  
"Why don't you have any tea?" he asked.  
  
"We have tea..." Ashley said, giving him an odd look.  
  
"Really?" Mark sat up. "Bret told me you didn't have any."  
  
"Bret doesn't live here," Ashley said bitterly.  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry for being such a jerk earlier..." Ashley said finally.  
  
"Thanks..." said Mark. "Could you make me some tea?"  
  
Ashley sighed.  
  
"Sure... but we only have wasabi-flavored."  
  
Mark's eyebrows shot up. Oh well... at least he could dump a bunch of sugar in it to  
  
try and hide the taste.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret walked down the stairs and saw Stacy talking on her cell phone waving her free hand wildly in the air.  
  
"And then I said that she was such priss and she said that..." she continued, and  
  
Bret chose to stop listening. That was more than he could handle.  
  
"Er... Stacy?" Stacy stopped talking and told whoever it was she was talking  
  
to on the other line that she had to go.  
  
She put her fuzzy pink cell phone in her pink sequin purse.  
  
"Hi Bret..." she cooed stupidly.  
  
"Er... hi."  
  
"Do you want to go out with me?" she asked.  
  
Bret didn't know what to do... he was desperate.  
  
"Uh... okay... I guess..."  
  
"O-M-G!" she cried, actually saying the letters. Believe or not she could actually  
  
spell.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. The End

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige and Elijah sat holding hands, waiting patiently for everyone to arrive.  
Kate and Mike walked in, a little bit disheveled.  
"Sorry we're late," said Mike. "We, uh..."  
"We didn't know what town we were in, and then we just caught a cab from our hotel wearing the same clothes," Kate finished for him.  
"O-oh," said Elijah, Paige kicking him under the table. "Sit over there," said Elijah, indicating the seats as far away from him as possible.  
"Okay," said Kate. "So, why are we here?"  
"To catch up," said Paige.  
"Right," said Kate. Elijah grinned at Mike.  
"I heard you got married," said Elijah. Paige kicked him under the table. "OUCH!" he yelled.  
Slowly, Ashley and Mark filed in. They were waiting for Bret to arrive.  
When he did, all eyes turned and looked at him.  
"Hey, everybody- this is Stacy. She's my, uhh..." he looked around. "Girlfriend."  
Everyone's jaw dropped. Bret then laid eyes on Elijah.  
He tore over the table, and ripped at Elijah's shirt. He grabbed him and shook him until Paige punched Bret hard enough to get him to stop.  
"WHAT THE FUCK?" Elijah yelled.  
"Hey," said Bret. "You put me in an insane asylum."  
"BECAUSE YOU KISSED MY FRICKIN GIRLFRIEND!"  
"What?" said Stacy, hand clasped over her mouth.  
"Look," Paige yelled. "Everybody, calm the fuck down. I know Elijah and Bret are mad, but let's just move on. I have some fucking information and I need your goddamn attention." Everyone stared at her. "Right," she said, Bret's hands still clutching at Elijah. "I'm moving to L.A. so that I can be on Elijah's record label."  
Kate and Ashley stared. Elijah smiled, even though Bret was cutting off the circulation to his neck. Mike looked at Kate. Paige had a feeble smile on her face.  
"GREAT!" yelled Stacy. "I always knew you were going places, Paige." She started clapping.  
"Hello," said a drawling voice. "Did someone clap for my Sex Fig?"  
Mr. Goldberg was back.   
  
Mr. Goldberg stepped out of the shadow of a nearby cactus.  
  
"Mr. G-Goldberg?!?!" Kate cried; her eyes widened.  
  
Goldberg straightened out the black wig on his head.  
  
"It's Ax," he said snivily.  
  
Bret let out a yelp, deceased strangling Elijah, and hid behind Mark's chair. Mark  
  
looked at Ashley who shrugged.  
  
Stacy looked around trying to find Bret, too dimwitted and slow to notice where he was.  
  
"Waiter?" Mike called. The waiter rushed over.  
  
"Yes sir?"  
  
"Could you please rid us of this man? He's disturbing our meal."  
  
"Oh course sir." The waiter smiled. He was sure to get a large tip now. With a snap  
  
of his fingers, two large security guards lumbered towards "Ax".  
  
He screamed as they picked him up by the ears and threw him out the door.  
  
"Excellent..." said Elijah, adjusting his tie.  
  
"So... how's everyone else's life going?" Mike asked. Ashley huffed.  
"Craig left me."  
  
No one said anything, and Ashley stared down at her burrito. Mark placed a hand on her  
  
shoulder; his mouth was still burning like hell from the other day, when he had drank  
  
that wasabi tea.  
  
"Oh my GOD!" Stacy squealed. "You had a boyfriend? Was he HOT? Will he go out with  
  
me?" Paige glared at Stacy.  
"Yes she did. And no he will not you bimbo." Stacy obviously didn't catch the "bimbo" part, as she was still smiling her insane smile.  
  
"Er... well... I bribed two hobos!" said Kate, trying to lighten the mood. There were oohs and ahhs heard at the table. Bret was still shaking in his chair, seeing Ax again was taking a toll on him.  
  
"Are you okay, Bretty-poo?" Stacy cooed, taking a small vanity mirror out of her  
  
purse and checking to make sure the vast amount of glittery eyeshadow she applied  
  
earlier was still there.  
  
Bret nodded, taking a small sip of water.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige looked at Stacy.  
"I'm sorry Bret, she has to go." Bret looked at Paige.  
"But, why?" Stacy paid no attention to the conversation.  
"She's our enemy. REALLY." said Paige. "She like, ruined my life in sixth grade, and made everyone else feel like shit." Bret sighed.  
"Fine," he patted Stacy on the back. "Look," he started. "I don't think this is working out. We are just, uhh, two opposite people." Stacy looked blankly at him.  
"What?"  
"Here, let me compare this to something you understand," said Bret, having no patience, and faux sympathy. "I am like, Justin Timberlake. And you are like, Britney Spears. We have to, err, go 'Bye bye bye'".  
"But Justin broke up with Britney cause she cheated on him, right? I didn't cheat on you," said Stacy simply. Bret rolled his eyes.  
"Umm, I'm like Aaron Carter and you're Hilary Duff. We are breaking up."  
"Again with the cheating," said Stacy. "They broke up because she was cheating on him with Frankie Muniz. Hey," she said turning to Paige, "you like Frankie Muniz right?"  
"Err," she said, looking at Elijah. He was turning red.  
"Frankie Muniz?" he whispered.  
"Alright, alright, bad example," said Bret. "I am like, Ben Affleck. And you are like, Jennifer Lopez..."  
"But he cheated on her!" said Stacy, gasping. "Did YOU cheat on me?"  
"Err," said Bret, and Paige gave him a stern look. "YES! Yes, I did, with..." he searched the table for a person. "Kate!" Mike looked at her.  
"You what?" said Mike.  
"No we didn't," said Kate, angrily. "Shut the fuck up, Bret."  
"Omigod, Kate," said Stacy. "I knew you always were a bitch." She picked up her glass of "no- calorie" water and threw it on Kate.  
"I hope that stains," she said, scowling as she walked out of the restaurant.  
"Oy vey," muttered Paige as Stacy flipped her hair walking down the street. Mark was laughing insanely. Everyone at the table turned at looked at him.  
"Bur-ito," he said, laughing. "What a funny word! Bur-ito," he repeated, rolling his "r"s. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley looked over at Mark... now this was embarassing.  
  
"Hey... Mark, let's go home, okay? Too much burrito for you."  
  
She grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his seat, dragging him towards the door.  
  
"Hey... my burrito! I didn't finish it... WAIT!" Ashley dragged Mark out the door.  
  
Mike offered Kate his napkin and she took it, furiously wiping herself off as she  
  
scowled after Stacy.  
  
"Well..." said Paige, looking around the table at all the empty chairs. "That went  
  
well." Elijah sighed.  
"Yup, well... it always seems to turn out like this when we all get  
  
together." He looked over at Bret who was at the bar, most likely getting wasted. There were already several empty shot glasses next to him and he looked sort of green.  
  
"That Stacy... what a bitch." Kate growled, crumpling up the damp napkin in her hand  
  
and throwing it at the cactus. It stuck on one of the needles. That would have been  
  
funny to Kate if she wasn't so damn angry at Stacy The Superficial Slut.  
  
"Well..." said Mike, glancing at Elijah with slight disdain. "Now that we're still  
  
here... we may as well talk."  
  
"Err... okay..." said Elijah, looking at Mark's burrito across the table. Now that  
  
he thought about it, burrito was a very funny word. He let out a small laugh.  
  
Kate gave him an odd look across the table.  
  
"So... I'm glad that the marriage dissolving thing went... well," said Paige,  
  
shifting her weight on the chair.  
  
"Yeah..." said Kate, looking at the wall.  
  
"Right..." said Elijah.  
  
"Uh huh," said Mike.  
  
This was going to be a long lunch.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Craig landed with a bit of difficulty. It was hard (yes, that's inevitable considering how actress the stewardess was) to get back to his seat, considering all the turbulence that the airplane was experiencing. He strapped himself in, and took a large swig of water.  
When the plane got to Auckland, he unbuckled his seat belt and waited for all of the passengers in front of him to get off the plane. He sighed, and slung his shoulder-bag high on his back, then grabbed his larger carry- on luggage. As he was leaving the plane, the stewardess grabbed his behind and said, "Have a nice day, sir."  
Aching from the pinching of her acid-green acrylic nails, Craig massaged his buttocks as he walked down the runway from his plane. She was too harsh on him. He picked up his cell phone, and a little picture fell out from his bag.  
It was the photo Ashley had taken with him at the convention.  
Oh how long ago that was, it seemed to Craig. How fast things may change. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley stared at Mark as she sped along the highway. He looked at her quizzically, and she leered right back at him.  
"You might want to watch the road," said Mark.  
"I have a learner's permit," she gruffed out. Mark laughed.  
"You're a crap driver, though," he said, matter-of-factly. Ashley leered.  
"Maybe I can take the reins," Mark quietly suggested.  
"No," said Ashley. "First off, all drivers I have met from New Zealand have sucked. And I mean sucked. Second, who refers to cars as 'reins'? Were not driving Santa's fucking sleigh."  
"Are you alright?" said Mark. "You seemed so quiet and the convention." Ashley snorted.  
"Desperate times calls for desperate measures," she said, cynically.  
"Are you really that desperate?" asked Mark, cocking his head to the side.  
"No," said Ashley. "Not desperate enough to want you that way." Mark sighed.  
"Suit yourself," he said laughing. "But I am quite a lover." Ashley looked at him.  
"You make me gag."  
"Perhaps that's the best kind of man, then?" he said, laughing. Ashley raised her eyebrows.  
"If you're insane," said Ashley.  
"We both are," Mark replied.  
"True," said Ashley, sighing. "So true." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Paige stared at Mike and Kate.  
"I'll be leaving in two days to go to L.A.," said Paige. Kate's jaw dropped.  
"WHAT? TWO DAYS?"  
"Yeah," said Paige. "That's sorta why I called everyone here." Elijah stared around in desperation, and Mike glared evilly at him. Bret sauntered over.  
"OY!" he said. Elijah walked over and sniffed his breath.  
"You're not drunk," he said, questioningly.  
"Nope," said Bret. "I called the airline people, and booked two tickets back to New Zealand for me and Mark." Paige looked downtrodden, Elijah looked bored, Mike looked insane, and Kate? Kate looked sublime.  
"Going...so soon?" said Kate, masking her jubilee very badly. Bret however, did not get it.  
"This has been the vacation from hell," said Bret.  
"No, really?" said Paige, sarcastically.  
"Why, yes!" replied Bret, not getting anyone's tone. "I got, hmm... dumped by Ashley, watched Paige and Elijah fuck far too many times for comfort, got drunk repeatedly, got shot by a cat, got put into an insane asylum, was molested by a man named Mr. Goldberg, was stalked by a man named Bob, and everyone is now ignoring me! So, I think I am going to go." Everyone was silent for a few moments, then...  
"Umm, I think I'm going, too," said Mike.  
"WHAT?" cried Kate, coming back from cloud nine far too soon.  
"Yeah, same day as Paige and Elijah... Chester and the band needs me back." Kate scowled.  
"Did I not tell you? You can come touring with us for the rest of the summer, if your parents think that's okay." Kate smiled like a chesire cat. Paige patted her arm.  
"See?" she whispered. "Like I said, you'll eventually get raped by Mike, too." Kate coughed to conceal Paige's saying 'raped by Mike.'  
"So, I guess everyone's going to be leaving then, on..."  
"Except Ashley," said Mike.  
"ASHLEY!" groaned Paige and Kate.  
"Oh god, she's going to be so sad, everyone leaving her on the same day..." Paige said.  
"What are we going to do?" Kate asked, head in hands. There was a tension over the group as they pondered this.  
"Well, best be off then," said Bret, breaking the silence. "Cheerio!"  
"When did he suddenly become English?" said Elijah, cocking his head.  
"When did he suddenly become cheery?" asked Paige. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley lay on the couch, staring into space as she had been for quite a while. She heard Bret knocking on the door, and decided that she would be kind enough to let him in.  
"Hello," said Bret, striding in, quite out of (what Ashley thought) was his own depressed element.  
"Why, hello," said Ashley, in mock cheer. Bret turned around.  
"Good to see you smile!" he said, laughing. "Ever since Craig left, you..."  
"Let's not talk about Craig," said Ashley, switching back into unhappiness.  
"Right," said Bret. "I, umm.."  
"What?" Ashley said tensely.  
"I..." Bret started.  
"Well, spit it OUT!" Ashley called.  
"I, uhh, might have had something to do with Craig's, uhh, leaving," Bret said softly and meagerly.  
"What?" said Ashley, infuriated.  
"I, well, that's to say I-"  
"YOU WHAT??!?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"  
"I, well," Bret said. "I told Craig that you and him were to stop going out or I would call the police."  
Ashley couldn't speak. She tried very hard to form words, but her mouth wasn't cooperating. All Bret saw was her lips moving, and the gestures she was making that looked an awful lot like Smeagol strangling Degol.  
"Get out," she finally managed to growl.  
"No," said Bret. "Mark and I will be leaving day after tomorrow for New Zealand, and..."  
"You," said Ashley, jabbing her finger at Bret. "You will buy me a first class ticket to New Zealand."  
"Right," said Bret, looking for an exit.  
"You," she said, still jabbing, "will call my parents at their hotel and tell them that Ashley has gone to stay with Paige in LA."  
"R-right," said Bret, starting to get scared.  
"You will pay for my hotel while I stay in New Zealand looking for Craig."  
"Absolutely," said Bret, terrified.  
"And finally," said Ashley, with flourish in her voice, "You will call Craig when we land, and tell him you didn't mean anything you said, and that I am in New Zealand to make amens."  
"Ehh," said Bret, starting to falter. Ashley jabbed harder.  
"Do you read me LOUD AND CLEAR?" commanded Ashley, using her practice to leer at Bret with such skill that a tear came to his eye.  
"Yes, ma'am."  
"Good," said Ashley, switching back to her normal mode. She picked up her cell phone to call Paige. She turned to look at Bret, and leered. "DO IT NOW!" she screamed, and he scampered off to his bedroom to call the airlines. After, of course, he cried. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bret scurried out of the apartment to the rental car which he knew would be safe from  
  
Ashley... who knows what she would do to him if he didn't get her tickets now. Mark was  
  
sitting in the passenger seat.  
  
"Hey, mate. Did Ashley kick you out too?" he laughed.  
  
"Shut up!" hissed Bret, dialing on his cell phone as quickly as he could.  
  
And Mark shut up, looking out the window at the other cars parked in the parking lot.  
  
"Hello, I'd like to book an extra ticket to Auckland..." said Bret.  
  
Some indistinctive gibberish was heard on the other line.  
  
"No... it HAS to be first class! My life is on the LINE lady!"  
  
Mark looked over at Bret quizzically.  
  
"Yeah... I'm sure that'll be fine... uh huh... yup... thanks."  
  
Bret hung up.  
  
"What was that all about?" Mark asked.  
  
"Hope you don't mind, mate... Ashley's going to be sitting next to you for the next  
  
20 hours on the way to Auckland."  
  
Mark was obviously thrilled... Ashley... not so much.  
  
Ashley let Mark and Bret back into the apartment after they had both confirmed that she had a ticket. They did not speak the next day, except to exchange a few comments about items to be packed. Bret called Ashley's parents, and the lie was spun. Paige and Kate knew now that Ashley was leaving, and they were both doubtful that she could survive in New Zealand on her own.  
Paige and her mother spent the whole day packing, and gave their boxes to the moving people. Paige cried that night in her empty room, thinking about all the memories she had in her house, and how she was leaving all of her friends. She hoped that her new salary would be enough to pay for Kate and Ashley to fly out to LA whenever they wanted- or at least, with the few remaining weeks of summer left, they could fly out to see her once.  
Kate calmly asked her parents if they would let her tour with Linkin Park.  
"Oh, well.. how many sweaty men would you be sharing a bus with?" asked Kate's mom, skeptically. Eric, Kate's father stepped in.  
"Honey, she wouldn't be sharing a bus, would she?" he said, winking at Kate. In their newfound closeness, Kate and Eric only had to wink and they both knew what message was trying to be spun across.  
"Fiv- I mean, none. I would have my own bus, with the roadies," said Kate, crossing her fingers behind her back.   
"Fine," said her mother, giving in. "Only if you call me everyday."  
"Yes, mom," said Kate, embarrassed.  
She went upstairs, told Mike the good news, and they started off packing.  
Elijah put what little clothing he had back into his suitcase, and cleaned up the room.  
This was the best vacation he had ever been on in his whole entire life.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Paige, Elijah, and her mother were the first to arrive at the airport. They waited by the international terminal (at Paige's insistance) for Ashley, Bret, and Mark. Kate and Mike were catching a plane to Dallas, seeing as Linkin Park's tour would resume there. Paige spotted Kate and Mike as they ambled down the corridor, overloaded with bags.  
"Hey," said Kate, a little choked up.  
"Hey," said Paige. They looked at each other.  
"This is it," she said, laughing. Cynthia and Elijah took their cue and fell into the background. Kate felt a tap on her shoulder, and Ashley appeared.  
"Hey," said Kate and Paige, holding back a lot.  
"Paige," said Ashley, holding out a wrapped gift. "Open this on the plane. Don't you dare open it before then,"  
"Okay," she said, sniffing back tears. "This is so nice of you to give to me."  
"It's from both of us," said Kate, chiming in. Paige looked at her watch.  
"I really have to go," she said.  
"Oh god," said Kate. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry."  
"Are you going to get all girly on us?" asked Paige.  
She punched Kate lightly in the shoulder. "Please call me when you land," said Kate. "You have my number."  
"Yeah," said Paige, afraid to say to much as tears would spill out.  
"Paige," started Ashley, voice cracking.  
"No, we're not going to do this," said Paige. "We are not going to get all emotional. Kate, Linkin Park is coming to LA in a few weeks, right? So we'll spend time together then, okay?"  
"Right," said Kate, also afraid to say too much.  
"Ashley, I..."  
"We'll see each other," Ashley interrupted strongly. "I know we will." Paige turned around and looked at Elijah and Cynthia, both of whom were making rounds with Bret, Mark, and Mike to say goodbye.  
Paige grabbed Kate, and hugged her really tightly. Kate let go, and sobbed.  
"No," said Paige. "Don't do that."  
"Bye," said Kate. "You are so awesome."  
"Bye," said Paige, breaking down. "You are more awesome."  
They both laughed. Ashley walked over to Paige, and gave her a big hug.  
"Bye," she said. "Don't forget us when you make it big."  
"Bye," said Paige. "I won't." She leaned in closer to Ashley. "Be careful," she whispered.  
Paige went over to Mike, and shook his hand. "It was a pleasure to meet you."  
"And you as well," said Mike.  
"Have a nice flight!" said Paige.  
"You too." Paige walked over to Bret, and grabbed him into a hug.  
"Bye," said Bret. Paige hugged him tighter. Elijah coughed very loudly.  
"Right," said Paige, noticing for the first time how menacing Elijah could look. "You take care of yourself. You can always call." Elijah broke into fits of coughing.   
"I will," said Bret, looking very unreassuring.  
"Bye Mark," said Paige, shaking his hand. Mark pulled Paige into a very big hug. "Right, geroff," said Paige. She took Elijah's hand, and walked down the corridor. She waved as she entered the line for the security checkout, and yelled, "I LOVE YOU!"  
"I love you, too!" yelled Kate, Ashley, and Mark. They all turned to stare at him.  
"And then there were five," said Mike. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley looked at Kate.  
"Right, well," said Kate. "I'll see you in a few weeks!"  
"Right," said Ashley, a little less sad then when Paige left.  
"Take your time, CALL ME!" said Kate smiling.  
"Bye," said Ashley, pulling Kate into a quick hug. "See you soon."  
"Bye Mike," said Ashley.  
"Bye, have a nice flight, nice to meet you," said Mike.  
"Nice to meet you, too," said Ashley. She turned around and saw Mike shake Bret and Mark's hands. Kate shook Mark's hand, and then went over to Bret.  
"Bye," she said. She turned around.  
Bret pulled her quickly in a spin and kissed her on the cheek. Mike, quick as lightning, pulled Kate away and punched Bret very hard in the face.  
"FUCK!" yelled Bret, now bleeding from the lip.  
"Right," said Ashley, grabbing Bret's hand. "BYE!" she said, speeding forward into the terminal. In a moment, she was just another ant in the busiest airport in the world. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Paige sat in her seat, next to Elijah. He was sleeping, and very quietly she pulled out Ashley and Kate's gift. She slowly unwrapped it, as if to savor the paper like chocolate. She let out a small gasp when she saw what was inside.   
"Wha is it?" said Elijah, waking with a start.  
"It's," Paige said, eyes filling with tears. "It's a book of stories and photographs about us," said Paige. "About Kate, Ashley, and me." She let out a small sob.  
Elijah put his arm around Paige.  
"I know you'll miss them," said Elijah. "But you guys are good enough friends so that you can see each other."  
"Right," said Paige, doubtful. Elijah squeezed Paige hard.  
"I'm a pretty good judge of people, and I know you will see each other soon enough." Paige looked at Elijah through slit eyes. "Plus," he said, now whispering, "you have me." He raised his water glass. "To your old life, and new one."  
"To LA," said Paige.  
"To LA," repeated Elijah. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kate was so sick it was unbearable. The motion sickness alone was killing her.  
She leaned over, and barfed right into her baggie. Mike looked up from his magazine, and smiled.  
"Ahh, what a beautiful girl," he said.  
"Stop mocking me," Kate spat. Mike looked at her with intensity.  
"I'm not. I mean it."  
When Kate looked up, she saw how much honesty Mike could really hold inside one glance.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Ashley let the New Zealand sun dance on the seat in front of her. 20 hours with the bozo twins was hard enough, not including the hour cab drive she now had to endure. She put her head on top of the leather seat, and nodded off.  
When she woke up, she was sitting on a bench overlooking Auckland. It was beautiful.  
"Thought you might like it here," said Mark, in a rare moment of sincerity. Ashley smiled, grateful he knew how to cure jet lag and claustrophobia. Ashley glanced at Bret, who was talking animatedly on a cell phone.  
Ashley's heart stopped. A cell phone? There was only one more part of the deal Bret had to fufil.  
"Mark," Ashley muttered. "Who is Bret talking to?"  
"Craig," he said. He squeezed Ashley's hand. Bret closed the cell phone.  
"Ashley?" said Bret, voice soft.  
"Yes?" she said standing up.  
She shielded her eyes from the sun, and waited for the news that would rip her heat in two.  
He would either accept her, and they could go back to the way they were, with fights and love that could make the most stable person go insane.  
Or he would reject her, and her whole life would crumble.  
Either way, she realized then what people meant when they said, "Love hurts." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The End 


End file.
